Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] Speaker A: Foreign.
[00:00:06] Speaker B: Welcome to 3564, a podcast for the Middle.
In today's episode we have the most amazing guest, Sarata Murphy. She's an influencer, a content creator, public speaker, and an all around amazing human.
She drops incredible fashion tips for summer of 2025, really easy things to follow to look for, and even suggestions on what to put away until the weather gets colder.
We also talk about how to show up as a good friend, what it's like to lose a parent, and also what it's like to accomplish a goal later in life. Serata completed two degrees and she went back to school later and was highly encouraged by those who loved her to do that. She talks about that experience and maybe, just maybe, she might inspire you to do something similar.
Welcome to the show. Serata.
I am so glad you're here today.
[00:01:20] Speaker A: Thank you. Thanks for having me.
[00:01:22] Speaker B: So the first question I have for you is how old are you?
[00:01:27] Speaker A: I am 48. I'll be 49 in September of this year, so I'm already looking forward to 50. I don't want to rush time, but.
[00:01:35] Speaker B: Yeah, you know, they say 50 is just the best decade. I don't know, I hear 60 year olds say the same. I hear 40 year olds and I hear 90 year olds.
So I don't know, maybe it just gets better and better. But it's so good to have you here today.
I had so many different things that I was trying to decide what I wanted to ask you because you have an interesting, fulfilling, rich story behind who you are and why you are here today.
If you were to introduce yourselves to our listeners who don't know you, I know you know thousands and thousands of followers online do, but for those who don't know you, who would you say you are?
[00:02:27] Speaker A: I am myself. I mean this is what you get when you meet me, when you see me, when you see my videos. I think what I would say is that I am a over 40 year old Gen X, which I'm so proud of. That is redefining life in her 40s and beyond.
And the reason I say redefining is because there's so many things that I'm learning about myself. Being able to show up just as who I am and not being afraid to do that. So I would say that I am fearing less because fearless is a big word, but fearing less and less of what other people think but how I feel and appreciating who I am and showing up just as that.
[00:03:07] Speaker B: So wow, that's such a thoughtful response.
I think as we certainly get into middle age, we learn how to surpass those things that make us nervous, scared, or that we fear.
You know what? One of my favorite quotes that I've been putting all over my house, my workspace is, I think it's everything you ever wanted is on the other side of fear. Beer.
[00:03:37] Speaker A: Yes.
[00:03:37] Speaker B: And have you heard that quote before?
[00:03:39] Speaker A: Yes, yes, it.
[00:03:41] Speaker B: That's true.
[00:03:43] Speaker A: That is so true. It really is.
Yeah. Yeah.
[00:03:47] Speaker B: Well, one of the things that I love about your recent history is that you decided to go back to school. You recently got two degrees, I believe, in even one year, if I'm not mistaken.
Can you tell us, tell us about that?
[00:04:04] Speaker A: Sure. So with the way that education has advanced so much, you can do everything online.
And for myself at that age, I had already started and ran two businesses. We had just relocated to the area and I had my father passed literally two weeks before we got on a plane and relocated. We buried him and came here. And one of the things he really wanted for us was for us to finish our education. My sister and I are first year, mean first generation college students.
And so I was like, you know what, I don't want to lose another parent that wants to see us graduate. And so my husband was like, who's extreme supporter and advocate of anything that I do, was like, hey, this is your opportunity. We've relocated. I shut down my businesses in Texas. So I went back to school full time.
The beauty of the school that I went to is, is that you can test out of courses.
And so the unfortunate thing was only 18 credits transferred from 20 something odd years ago from my previous college. 18 credits.
[00:05:10] Speaker B: So I had 31, like 18.
[00:05:13] Speaker A: Right. And of course I had changed my degree. My degree was now going to be in marketing because I'd had so much experience with that with my previous business.
So long story short, I said 35 courses. Okay, how long can we get, how fast can we get this done? Because I wanted to get my MBA and then move on and it was a six month window. And my advisor, I didn't tell him at first that I wanted to fast track because I think sometimes when you tell people things, they start to put. They don't mean to, but they start to put doubt in your system and you start to doubt yourself. They start to tell you all the things that may not work out. So I kept it quiet. And when I had laid out my plan and saw how the system worked, I said, okay, I can do this. And so halfway through the semester, he saw I was going through Accelerating the classes very fast. And I was like, here's what's about to happen in the next five weeks. And he was like, if anybody can do it, I think you can. Let's do it. So in five months, I finished the 35 courses. I couldn't sign up for my MBA until the semester ended, so I signed up for the MBA, which was only 11 courses, but they're a little bit more intense. But I finished those in three months and so good.
Yeah, it was around about nine months that I finished everything. But you could not graduate until that semester is actually over, even if you finished it before. So online courses, because of your life experience, because of the things that you've already learned that you don't realize you've learned in that area, that's how I was able to do it.
[00:06:48] Speaker B: Wow, it's so amazing.
What would you say to our listeners? And there are so many who started school and because of various life circumstances, they ended up moving away from that and going somewhere else. And they have a desire to come back, secure that degree, that mba. What would you say to them?
[00:07:13] Speaker A: I would say find the path that works best for you. And when I say that for some people, it's traditional learning, they have to actually go back in the classroom, and that's great for some people. They can do it online or a hybrid of the two. But find the school that works for you. The path is going to really work for you. And then you lay out the plan. And I think celebrating those small wins, like I finished the class is great. You know what I mean? Like, give yourself some ice cream, give yourself a cupcake. But celebrating each little step on the journey gets you closer to that bigger goal. Because again, life is still going to happen, even in the midst of everything.
So celebrate the win, even if you have to stop.
But if it's for you and what you want to do, focus on that because it's for you, not anyone else.
[00:08:02] Speaker B: Yeah, okay. That's some great advice. We don't focus on the little wins enough. I think those little wins are almost more important than the end goal sometimes. And that's a good reminder to celebrate the small things that check the box in the direction of our dream, our vision, our goal.
We don't do that enough, that's for sure.
You said something really interesting and you said, I don't like to set other people up with expectations so they don't tamper my own.
Tell me more about that. I love it.
[00:08:41] Speaker A: You know, it's like you hear a lot of people Talking about moving in silence and then showing up with whatever it is that you want to roll out. And again, everyone works a little bit differently. Some people need to tell someone so that person can hold them accountable. But be careful with who you share that with, because sometimes unknowingly, someone may give you advice, sometimes unsolicited, but may give you advice that causes you to self doubt. And we all have that self doubt. And so especially when it's something big and lofty and you really want to achieve it, you have to figure out how you want to move through it first.
So that when someone does say something, you're strong enough in what you're convicted in what you said, you can do that. You can be okay with it and brush it off your shoulder. But if you're not there yet, someone may put that doubt in your mind and you literally will take that in. And they didn't mean to, but now you're impacted by it because words impact. Well, they say sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me. Words will crush your soul.
[00:09:50] Speaker B: Yes. And discourage you and prevent you from living the life you always wanted.
[00:09:56] Speaker A: Yeah. So sometimes you got to move in silence.
[00:10:00] Speaker B: Yeah, that's. That's really interesting. I, I can tend to want to share my plans. Some of them are really out there, you know, as far as lofty big dreams. And you know, it's interesting. I, I do think there's certain people in my life that tend to want to calm those and, and I think it's in the best intentions because they don't want me to get hurt or waste my time or all the things. But sometime that, that really just doesn't serve you very well.
[00:10:33] Speaker A: Yeah, they're coming from a good place and so you have to be mindful what you share with them so that you still protect you.
[00:10:43] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah, absolutely.
And during this major goal that you were absolutely encouraged by your husband to, to maintain and stay the course.
I love that. By the way, having a supportive partner is worth its weight in gold.
So shout out to him for all of his love and support. For sure.
But it sounds like you just went through a major life change in losing your father before you embarked on this journey.
[00:11:22] Speaker A: 1.
[00:11:23] Speaker B: One of my biggest fears in life is losing my parents.
And they're both active, healthy, involved in my life very regularly. But just thinking about it actually makes me like nervous.
So tell us, what kind of advice would you give someone like me who still has their parents and maybe those of our listeners who have lost their parents?
[00:11:55] Speaker A: I would Say for those that still have their parents and it sounds like you have a really close relationship with them. Just try to cherish every moment. I don't think anyone knows exactly what to say because there's so much history behind each other. Story. Yeah, there's so much that, you know, someone wants to give advice about.
In my journey, I think the, the push or the motivation to like live life out loud just was amplified because my father wasn't able to do that.
And so I feel like I'm honoring him in doing that. And we, we had a.
My father was always in my life, you know, two parent home.
But I just think what we didn't realize as he was going through life was how heavily depressed he was and the things that he wasn't able to do, which unfortunately impacted us in various ways. So we had a challenging relationship and I decided instead of focusing on what the past was, how could I then live my best life because this person wasn't able to?
So how can I honor that legacy? It's sort of what I focused on and that's how I did it. But I would say definitely, if you have something that is important to you, just honor it while you can and just do the best that you can. Because anything can happen at any moment. And I just say, cherish them. Give them the flowers while they're here. We say that all the time.
Just give them the flowers while they're here.
[00:13:35] Speaker B: Yeah. One of the things that I've wondered since I haven't walked in your shoes having lost a parent yet, is what is the best way to support my friends who have lost a parent or in the future are going to. How can I show up best for them? As a friend?
[00:13:58] Speaker A: Absolutely. If they're a friend, I would say ask them them what they need.
Because we may assume someone needs to be called three, four times a day. We may assume someone needs a text. We may assume someone needs this. But until you ask someone, you don't know how to show up for them. And hopefully they're able to actually tell you what it is that they need. And sometimes they may not. So you may have to give them that space to figure that out. But just let them know I am doing my best to show up for you in the way that you need it. And as you understand what that is, let me know so I can be the best support possible. Because the ways that it could look with, you know, cousins my age, we've all lost a parent.
Vastly different. Yes, vastly. Yes.
[00:14:47] Speaker B: I think that's a really Good piece of advice to ask what they need and if they aren't able to tell you to step back, give them some space and maybe revisit that in another week. Just checking in.
How can I best support you during this?
It's so easy to support others through any major life event in a way that we think we want to be supported and it might not work for them in their circumstance. So that's a great reminder to check in and just simply ask instead of doing off the bat. It might not be, be the best way to show up. And my goodness, I think all of us, especially in middle age, learn to cherish our friends as family because they are, they show up for us. And, and showing up and asking how you can is probably the best way to, to best be the friend you want to be. So that's a good, good nugget of advice there. I love this, all these nuggets here.
That's, that's what we're looking for is, is really asking folks like you how they've maintained such a positive outlook on life and, and how to continue that and just get better and better.
As you look forward to your 50s and in a bit you still have a ways to go, what are you most looking forward to in the future?
[00:16:21] Speaker A: I am most looking forward to traveling with my husband. We don't have any children. We have a senior dog that is 17, she'll be 18 in September.
Wow.
She's just hanging in there. She's good. She's still got some spunk in her too.
But I'm looking forward to traveling, singing and doing things that we love to do and exploring more things. The next day is never promised and so I want to explore as much of this world and this space as possible. So that's what I'm looking forward to. Exploration, travel, learning, and just continuing to grow and evolve.
[00:17:01] Speaker B: Yeah. What has the questions that I hear all over the place in content, in podcasts and books is the importance of finding your purpose.
Do you believe that you've found your purpose?
[00:17:18] Speaker A: I think it evolves. Honestly, I think there may be a point in your life where your purpose is to do X and then you may grow into another purpose and then you may grow into another purpose. But I will say this. One of the things that I'm extremely, extremely passionate about is women. The well being of women, period.
Hands down, no questions asked. And that has been that way for a while.
So I know that I am supposed to continue to connect with women. I'm supposed to continue to try to Empower, motivate, inspire. I know that to my core. And that is the reason my two previous businesses were focused on women. One was a product based jewelry business for women and the other one was a consulting agency for people that were starting their businesses basically targeting women. Because I seem to connect with them better and I seem to be able to help them on their journey. And so, yes, I do believe people can find their purpose, but a lot of times they're already in it.
They just haven't fully accepted that that's what it is.
Wow. Maybe on this journey of like, you know, someone else said, you're good at this or you're good at that or you're good at that, but really what lights up your day?
[00:18:45] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:18:45] Speaker A: What do you really enjoy? What do you get the most joy out of doing?
[00:18:50] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:18:50] Speaker A: If I see a woman walking, you know, I get DMs like, hey girl, look, I tried the tie on today and I'm like, yes, you know, you know, or could be, you know, I'm going to shave the side of my head, whatever it is that makes me happy.
[00:19:07] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:19:09] Speaker A: So I do believe, yes, you can find your purpose, but a lot of times you're already doing it, just maybe not to the scale that you are designed to do it at. And so you just have to figure that part out.
[00:19:22] Speaker B: Yeah.
One of the, the challenges I feel like I've personally had, and I find that others I know very closely is aligning their purpose with a potential job.
And is that just some sort of echelon that you just, most people can't get to. You're lucky if you can make a living off of something you feel deeply passionate about.
That's a tough one. What do you think it is?
[00:19:53] Speaker A: I think sometimes your purpose may or may not be something that you can or cannot monetize or you can't monetize. I do believe, however, that one of the biggest struggles when it comes to monetizing anything that you might love to do is that people shy away from the business side of it, so much so that they don't know how to fully monetize it and sustain it. And so if it's a purpose that you feel like you want to monetize, learn the business.
Learn the business part of it. Because I've up and down, I've went through that so hard and crashed and burned on a number of different things until I learned the business.
Because, yes, you can have, you can sell jewelry, really. Right. But until you understand what problem you're solving with that Purpose, how can you truly monetize it? So if you learn the business of it, there's probably an audience for whatever it is that you're doing.
[00:20:56] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah. You mentioned you've had ups and downs in businesses, and you personally have guided many different businesses of different sizes to launch or grow.
What has been some of the major lessons or the threads that you've noticed in failures and successes in business? Business?
[00:21:21] Speaker A: Well, sometimes. Well, I wouldn't say sometimes. First and foremost, I asked a client, what problem are you solving? And more times than not, especially if they're coming to me, they can't answer that. And so if you take jewelry, for example, they were like, well, what problem are you really solving? It's an odd. It's not odd, it's. It's interesting. My husband actually asked me that years ago when I first launched the jewelry business, because he understood business on another level. I was the creative. I just want to show up, make pretty jewelry and take some cute pictures.
And I was like, what problem am I solving? It's jewelry. My God, what, what problem do we need to have? But it was, as I began to evolve, giving high quality jewelry at an affordable price. A lot of people are sensitive to different metals. Jewelry tarnishes. So for me, my audience was stainless steel jewelry that doesn't tarnish.
So I'm solving the problem of you having to buy a piece of jewelry that's going to tarnish, or you're in the middle bracket to where you may not be able to afford that 200, $300 bracelet, but you can rock with this one that's just as good for 35, 45 bucks. Right. And so, biggest lesson is understand what problem you're solving. So what are the pain points of your target audience? Which is another one.
Who is it? You got to visualize that person. You got to visualize who it is that you're trying to talk to so that you show up with that brain voice and that brain tone, and you're speaking directly to them like you're speaking into their soul. And so I had to understand the problem I was solving, who the audience was, which is really the first thing. And then you figure out what problem you're going to solve for them. And then more importantly, I shouldn't say more importantly. All these things are important. Understand your financials when it comes to business, because, my God, if you continue to pour into that business, it's an expensive hobby, and that can be very crushing. Been there, done that.
[00:23:26] Speaker B: Yeah.
When do you know to walk away from A business idea, it varies for different people.
[00:23:34] Speaker A: For some people the business was built on maybe a trend that's no longer relevant.
And if you look at our, I'll just take marketing for example.
Ten years ago, maybe even five, a marketing agency could sell you a certain package because they were going to create all your content for you or content ideas or content calendars. Of course it takes hours because we've done that, I'm sure.
And it takes a long time to get all that. Do your research to figure out what content is going to work for this person. Create the content, yada yada yada. AI has done what swooped in and now made that a 30 minute venture that someone can teach someone to do in a 30 second video.
So you either have to learn to pivot and always be aware of what's coming next or if you get to a point to where. Let's look at Joann's.
They had to close every single store by May 30th and Joanne's was the go to place for crafts. But where are people going now?
[00:24:47] Speaker B: Yeah, you mentioned you've had ups and downs in businesses and you personally have guided many different businesses of different sizes to launch or grow.
What has been some of the major lessons or the threads that you've noticed in failures and successes in business?
[00:25:09] Speaker A: Have an ebook. They were like we're a bookstore and I shut down. So you have to understand, is my business still viable? Am I putting too much money in it than it's actually making over a sustained period of time?
Then it's just, it's not a healthy thing for you, it's not a good thing. So you have to make that decision yourself. But what I would say is if someone gets to that point, they definitely should reach out to someone that is a trusted advisor in that field and get some level of a consult before they decide what to do.
[00:25:43] Speaker B: Yeah, I think that's, that's great advice.
How about all the middle ages out there who have a business idea that's exciting and you know, sometimes you have that idea.
[00:25:57] Speaker A: This is going to sound funny because I'm going back to AI and you know, I don't want to name drop but there's so many different platforms for AI right now.
[00:26:06] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah, mind yours.
[00:26:08] Speaker A: Go in and talk to it.
Literally. You can ask a prompt of here is my idea and be as specific as possible.
Tell it to do some market research. Is this a viable idea to start? And then it will start to prompt you as it's going along and say when can I roll this business out, how much is it going to cost? Create me a sample business plan. You literally, you literally have all of that at your fingertips.
[00:26:36] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:26:36] Speaker A: And you want to run that through that system to see, is this something that I should go ahead and start? Does it make sense? And you can be so honest with it. You can tell it, hey, I have this much money. What can I do with that in the next 60 days, 90 days? Give me a plan. And the more information you give it to help guide you, the better. And so I would say that because a lot of times we will ask others, as we talked about earlier.
[00:27:03] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:27:05] Speaker A: And that goes on its whole, you know, down a rabbit hole and back up again. So I would definitely say utilize the resource that we are so fortunate to have right now to get those questions answered.
[00:27:16] Speaker B: That was such an on point response, Serrata. Like, I would give you a high five right now. That was a darn good answer to that question. And it is free, accessible, easy to use.
It's at your fingertips right now. Dive in. Go for it.
That's such a good answer. I really, truly, I forget even being passionate about technology and working with a lot of tech companies, I forget that some of that stuff that used to take months of market research, experts, niche experts, you just, you just dive right in, Type that prompt in really well and start exploring.
That's. That's really exciting, actually.
Yeah. Gosh.
Okay. That's amazing. Well, one of the.
Okay. I love your content. And for those of our listeners who do not follow you yet, I'm sure they will by the end of this episode.
One of the things that I love that you comment on a lot is fashion.
Yes. And I was just looking at your Met Gala inspo. You know, there was all sorts of really, really cool stories that I was watching and have been over the last few months.
And I am not somebody who has the natural flair to put together something that looks super great.
In fact, I will. I'm going to raise my hand and say I tend to stick with, like, plain, no patterns, simple, classic pieces, because I don't really understand how to step out of my comfort zone. In fact, don't laugh at me, but just this shirt, I was like, I better wear something sort of cute for Serratta. So I had a little leather on the collar that was hard for me to buy.
This is hard. I was like, this is a little edgy for me.
Okay, talk to me. How can I take a couple of steps outside of my comfort zone? How can middle agers do that in A way that kind of gives them some new spice, some new flavor, and lets them try on some new things. What is your advice for someone like me?
[00:29:45] Speaker A: Well, I will say this as well.
Everyone has their own style in which that should be appreciated.
Just because someone doesn't wear the bold or the flashy or the this does not mean that their style should not be appreciated. That is who they are, and that should be appreciated. So no one should ever feel like, oh, I have to change this about myself.
But if there is something, you walk into a store and you're looking at it and you sort of saw an eye and you're like, that might be cute.
Let me think about it. Yeah, maybe you purchase that and you keep it in your closet until you're comfortable putting it on, until you're comfortable stepping out with it. Because in order to bring your own sense of fashion to life, you have to feel comfortable in the clothes. Yeah. You have to feel comfortable in whatever. Whatever it is that you are wearing.
So I don't like to change anyone's style unless they really want to do that. And if that is the case, grab that one item that you've been eyeing, but you're not quite sure, because typically it might be just, how are people going to receive this? Because they're so used to me coming out like this.
When you get to a point to where you're like, I'm ready to do it and I'm okay with what anyone says, then try it out and see what it feels like for you.
Try that one thing that you've been thinking about in the back of your mind that you're comfortable with and see how it works for you, not everybody else.
[00:31:20] Speaker B: Okay. I love that. I have a friend named Tracy, and she is on the forefront of all things fashion, and I trust her. And we go out maybe once every three months, and she pulls clothes for me. I do not do this. She's like, you've got to try on wide leg jeans. I mean, it's about time. It's been years, Karen. I'm like, I feel like a clown. And so she pulls all the jeans and. And she does the inspo for me. And it's kind of more of an exploratory shopping sesh. And I normally walk away with one or two things that I wouldn't have typically purchased.
She gave me the confidence. She found the right fit.
And so maybe also finding a friend who's passionate about that, knows your budget and can kind of handhold you through that, that's really fun. Too.
That is.
[00:32:19] Speaker A: That's really, really great because it's someone you trust and someone that really has your best interest at heart, and you can find out from them what might look good on you. I like that.
[00:32:31] Speaker B: Okay, I need some advice here on what this exactly means. This phrase, shop your own closet. What?
[00:32:39] Speaker A: Oh, what is this?
[00:32:41] Speaker B: How can I do this? Is this just some sort of phrase like, I want to shop my closet? Tell me how I can do that.
[00:32:48] Speaker A: Well, so it depends on what you have in your closet. Right.
And a lot of times when you see that from content creators, they have purchased so many clothes that they're like, let me go in my closet and shop in here. Instead of continuing to purchase more and more and show up with this new content and new idea.
Shop in your own closet. Sometimes in the back back, you have things back there that you haven't touched in years.
And that I guarantee you, everyone has something in their closet they have completely forgotten about because we're just adding more and more things. So shop in your closet is really going in and finding those things that you may not have put on in six months, three months, maybe even a year, and seeing if there are things that you can pair with it that are also in your closet just to make that a different look or outfit. So that's shopping closet, going in and using what you already got to come out looking like new.
[00:33:46] Speaker B: Okay. I. I feel like, I feel like that's a tough mission in my closet. I. I'm going to admit, and I think this is an old person thing. So you tell me. Okay. Or a midlife, at least. Thing is, when I find something I like, I'm like, I'm gonna buy it in six colors. It's just so great. And so I'll have, like, the same shirt in five colors, because I love the way it fits and it's just like a solid choice for me. So is that a H thing?
[00:34:15] Speaker A: I really don't. Because if you think about it, that's probably been your response over the course of years.
[00:34:24] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:34:25] Speaker A: That's just typically how it is. And so if I like something. Yes. I want it in all the colors, especially if it fits comfortably. It's like, let's get this in all the colors. So I have something that I know is my go to time and time again that's going to fit no matter if I'm up £5 or down £5 or whatever the fluctuation may be.
[00:34:45] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:34:47] Speaker A: So I don't think it's an age thing. I really do think it is just a who you are. And you may gravitate to those things. And you're like, listen, this is easy and simple. I don't have to overthink it.
Let's do it. And that's why we all pair so well. That's, you know, you have a friend that's in fashion because you guys are going to pair well. You'll help her with some things and she can help you with some things.
[00:35:09] Speaker B: Absolutely. That's good. Thanks for giving me a pat on the back for that one. I. I really will be like, okay, I'll order it in black. And then if that works, then maybe I can branch out to like blue or something like this. But I tend to be very conservative in my choices, and I do find it's fun to add a couple of trendy things if I'm able to feel comfortable in them.
We have summer of 2025 rolling around the corner. Memorial Day is, is past and summer is here.
How can I get three or four items to just spruce up my generally plain wardrobe?
[00:35:55] Speaker A: You know, I'm a blazer girl. I'm a blazer girl through and through. And I just discovered that about myself that I love a good blazer. And I think the reason I really like blazers is because this period of my life, the bloat with, you know, whole fibroid issue and all that great stuff, it helps to sort of silhouette and hide that little area. And so I can get away with a cute blazer. You can dress it up. You can dress it down. If you get a lightweight like linen blazer and that they can go with you all through the summer.
[00:36:24] Speaker B: Okay.
[00:36:24] Speaker A: All the way through fall and back around again. Because you can always put a nice little sweater under it. Dress it up, dress it down, down. But I would get a blazer, cuz again, I'm a blazer girl. A lightweight blazer that you can just throw on. You can have a tank under it. So if you're somewhere where it's warmer than the little, it can go behind the chair or what, wherever it is. But a nice little blazer, I mean, you can wear it with shorts, jeans, pants, slacks or whatever you want to call them. You can even wear your blazer with jogging suit. I've done it. I do it all the time. Love, I think the blazers.
[00:37:01] Speaker B: Okay, you know what? Here's what I'm going to ask. Let's drop a couple links into some favorite approachable blazers. I wouldn't have ever guessed that that was going to be your response.
So I kind of love that. I think I have a couple blazers that I might sport in a meeting. But as far as, like, something I'm wearing out and about, I don't think I have even any linen, to be frank.
So I want to see what you can, you can send our way. Check the show notes. Serrata is going to do a personal styling session of blazers for different sizes and colors and prices.
That is such a cool idea.
[00:37:43] Speaker A: Thank you. Look at you giving me content.
[00:37:45] Speaker B: I love it. I love it. What, what else? Okay, like, I'm rolling up constantly in jean shorts and a plain tank top. Like, what else can I do to. To kind of spruce up the look for 2025 accessories?
[00:38:01] Speaker A: Accessories are a great go to, and it's whichever accessory you prefer. For some people, it's the cute little hat. You know, cute little hat because it keeps out the sun. And maybe their hair is in an in between stage. We can throw on a cute little hat, jazz up anything. Jewelry is always a go to. If you're a jewelry person, get you some more pieces, stack them, be bold. Don't worry about what anyone else says. If you love it, I love it. Let's go for it. Another accessory. Scarves are really in right now. Or maybe they're just in because I want them to be in. Who knows? But you can do so many things with scarf. You can even take it off if it's too warm around your neck. You can drape it, you can put it around your waist. But it really adds that flavor and color to an outfit that was just khaki shorts and a white tank. And now I have this beautiful scarf that I can just do all sorts of things with. I can wrap it around my head if I want to.
And now the whole outfit has been brought to life.
[00:38:59] Speaker B: Yeah.
Serata, you're so inspiring. I feel like if I put a scarf on, I would look weird. Like I don't even know where to attach it. Do I like, you know, I don't even know how to start with a scarf. Okay, I'm going to the store. One of my favorite stores is Nordstrom Rack because I can get high quality at an affordable price. So I'm rolling into Nordstrom Rack. What am I looking for for a scarf?
[00:39:25] Speaker A: So I love that you love Nordstrom's, but I would say if you're not quite comfortable with the scarves just yet, you might want to scale it all the way back to Amazon.
[00:39:37] Speaker B: Okay, tell me. I'm on Amazon. What am I looking for?
[00:39:40] Speaker A: I literally, and I wish I had Them to show you. Right now, I got a scarf for $5. Now I've got to do a video on it. It was $4.99. It was on clearance.
And it's a beautiful scarf.
[00:39:53] Speaker B: No way.
[00:39:54] Speaker A: More than 10 bucks on some scarves.
[00:39:57] Speaker B: Okay, I can do that.
[00:39:59] Speaker A: Because that way, now I have one or two that I can play with. And then when I'm ready to upscale it and go in and buy that $30 scarf at Nordstrom Rack, then I can do that. I know what I'm looking for. I'm comfortable with it. So I say, especially when it comes to trying something new, try something more affordable first.
So then you don't feel the weight of, I spent $30 on this. I've got to figure this out. Then it becomes pressure added. But if it's just $5 and you play and throw around with it and you mess it up and you don't want to do anything with it anymore, Cool. Give it. Give it to Goodwill, whatever.
[00:40:35] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[00:40:37] Speaker A: I would do that. Would you?
[00:40:38] Speaker B: I. Okay, I love this. You nailed the answer again. I would. I did not prep you with any questions and you just nailed that one.
So. Okay, I'm typing into Amazon. What women's scarf or what? What would I even look for?
[00:40:53] Speaker A: Pick a color that you like. So I'm going to assume you like neutrals, right?
[00:40:58] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:40:59] Speaker A: Okay, so I would go black, maybe patterned.
[00:41:03] Speaker B: Scarf.
[00:41:03] Speaker A: Scarf, or I would say a lot of times animal print has black in it. And so I may find another word to pair with that black. And that way it's going to give me a wide range of options. So it's not just a solid black, but you will find some really cool zebra print or maybe it's just the border with the zebra print and some other cool things going through there. And you can literally just. That first page is going to give you so much just to play around with. So find your color and find maybe a descriptor or something that goes with it.
Whether it is animal print or whether it is summer or whether it is lightweight or something, it's going to give you more to play with than just a black scarf. It's almost reading your mind. Isn't that sort of scary?
[00:41:48] Speaker B: I love it. So, okay, I get this black scarf that has a zebra print on it. That sounds approachable for me, maybe, if it's not too busy.
What am I. What am I doing with the scarf now? I mean, this is how unfashiony I am. So help me. What do I do with this?
[00:42:07] Speaker A: Hey, so with some scarves, and I wish I had one right here to sort of show you. You can literally, depending on how large the scarf is.
Now this is maybe, you know, a.
[00:42:20] Speaker B: Little bit down the road.
[00:42:21] Speaker A: You can tie it into one of those. You remember back in the. And I'm going to date myself 90s, where the little girls will wear the little tops that tied in the back. But your back was open totally. Almost like a triangle down here. That's a scarf.
They just made them into outfits, but that's really just a scarf. I mean, the store sold them as a top, but you can make a scarf right into that. Another way, you can take it and fold it in sort of a triangle and let it drape on this side and maybe tie the knot over here. So it's sort of an off shoulder type thing over your tank top.
[00:42:58] Speaker B: Okay.
[00:42:59] Speaker A: You can wear it as a belt just by folding it into a little small, straight, thin, very, very long rectangle. But you can make it into a belt.
You can tie it around your neck, but loosely because Lord knows it's hot. It's going to be really hot. And so you want to give yourself some room to breathe. You've seen, I'm sure, where they make the little scars around their head. Tie a knot in the back.
So there are a number of different things that you can do with it and play around. And again, similar to what you said earlier, where you can go to your friend Tracy, you can just go on Instagram and say, how do I tie a scarf? How do I style a scarf? And a gazillion options are going to come up for you. Find the one that's easiest to do.
[00:43:43] Speaker B: Okay.
That feels affordable, approachable, and easy. And abandon ship if I don't like it. No worries.
[00:43:53] Speaker A: Yes. Go to the next accessory because you still got, you know, a little money to play with because you didn't spend 30 bucks on that one scarf.
[00:43:59] Speaker B: For sure.
Best idea ever. Okay. I'm gonna get a scarf for my vacation in Mexico where I'm taking my family, and it will be beachy. And I feel like I could get like a. A nice, breezy, easy scarf and give that a shot. That's fun.
[00:44:19] Speaker A: I think. So what is your favorite color? Not for clothes, just generally speaking.
[00:44:23] Speaker B: I love hot pink.
[00:44:26] Speaker A: That's the color you're going to look up on Amazon.
[00:44:29] Speaker B: Okay.
Okay. That would be fun with like, jeans.
[00:44:33] Speaker A: It would just like you're. You're safely with your family.
[00:44:37] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:44:37] Speaker A: And you can play around with that option there. And who doesn't love bright colors. When you're at the beach, you don't have the pressure of having to show up in the office or somewhere else with this bright pink that you're not comfortable with. Here it.
[00:44:48] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:44:49] Speaker A: Try safe first.
[00:44:51] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah.
Okay. 2025 summer. What are some things that I should be wearing on my feet? What kind of shoes?
[00:44:59] Speaker A: Okay, now I am a comfortable shoe girl. And So I am 75% of the time I'm going to be rocking some sort of tennis shoe. And they come in a variety of different options. You can have the slip ons that are real easy to slip on. You lace up. Some don't have lace up. But you know, I need the. I need to be walking on clouds because I love it. I've worn heels way too long. But I would say for me it is definitely a nice pair of comfortable slip ons and they even have some that are made for the beach to where you can walk around with that. But for everyone else, I think right now, sandals are obviously going to be a really good option.
I don't personally like flip flops, not because of what they look like, but just because I don't like my feet, my toes sliding right there.
So I would get more of an open sandal so that my feet don't feel like, you know, they're stuck there for a while. But I would check out, I would check out sandals. And a lot of times when you go to the stores and not a lot of time, all the time when you go to your favorite store, go and look at their shoes that are in the front. What are they advertising? What are they showing you? That's probably what is considered on trend right now if you're looking for something in that. But if you have your favorite, go to go get that because.
[00:46:30] Speaker B: Okay, okay, I, I think that's. I need to update my sandals. I have a lot of flip flops, but I. Being in Cali and close to the beach, you know, it's something that we grew up with out here wearing constantly. But as far as it's like a refined look, I would say no, that's definitely just chill cas. But I think some cute sandals are in order for me.
Okay. It's summer 2025.
What should I put away?
[00:47:02] Speaker A: It's a good little whatever.
[00:47:04] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay.
Okay. I love this. You nailed the answer again. I would. I did not prep you with any questions and you just nailed that one.
[00:47:15] Speaker A: So.
[00:47:15] Speaker B: Okay, I'm typing into Amazon. What women's scarf or what. What would I even look for pick.
[00:47:22] Speaker A: A color that you like. So I'm going to assume you like neutrals, right? Yes. I've worn heels way too long, but I would say for me it is definitely a nice pair of comfortable slip ons and they even have some that are made for the beach to where you can walk around with that. But for everyone else, I think right now sandals are obviously going to be a really good option.
I don't personally like flip flops, not because of what they look like, but just because I don't like my feet, my toes sliding right there.
So I would get more of an open sandal so that my feet don't feel like, you know, they're stuck there for a while. But I would check out. I would check out sandals. And a lot of times when you go to the stores, and not a lot of time, all the time, when you go to your favorite store, go and look at their shoes that are in the front. What are they advertising? What are they showing you? That's probably what is considered on trend right now. If you're looking for something in that. But if you have your favorite, go to go get that because.
[00:48:30] Speaker B: Okay.
Okay. I, I think that's. I need to update my sandals. I have a lot of flip flops, but I. Being in Cali and close to the beach, you know, it's something that we grew up with out here wearing constantly. But as far as it's like a refined look, I would say no, it's definitely just chill cash. But I, I think some cute sandals are in order for me.
Okay. It's summer 2025.
What should I put away?
[00:49:03] Speaker A: Well, sweaters for sure. Because we're gonna pass up if we have a sweater on. Put that away for sure.
The black. A lot of times people are like, well, you shouldn't wear the black in the summer. It depends on what event you're going to.
It depends on how lightweight it is.
But I would try to liven it up with some softer neutrals that are a little bit lighter shade because that black does attract heat. We want to stay comfortable. And especially if you're in the midlife time, I mean, the heat is just going to change your attitude and you don't want that.
So.
[00:49:37] Speaker B: Right.
[00:49:38] Speaker A: The heavier, heavier denim, I would say start to put that away.
[00:49:42] Speaker B: Okay.
[00:49:43] Speaker A: My favorite of all times, which I'm still going to rock in my home when my AC is pumping very, very low.
[00:49:50] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:49:50] Speaker A: Jogging suits. Okay. Jogging suits. Unless it's early morning. I live on the east coast, so we get cooler mornings. So I may go run errands in a jogging suit. By, you know, 10, 11 o', clock, it's starting to warm up. So you want to have something. So everything that is lightweight, I try to focus on those at the front of the closet.
Anything that you put on that's keeping you warm, that's probably time to put that away.
[00:50:18] Speaker B: Yeah. Okay. For those of you who are watching on YouTube, you can see me. For those of you, most of you are listening, I am literally wearing, like, a black sweater, so I'm laughing so hard. So I need your help. I. I need to, like, text you with my outfits every day. What do you think? Am I, like, way off?
I love it. I have never.
I have never, you know, been.
Been fashion forward. I just tend to make the most conservative, boring choices, and that's something that I'm ready to try new things, you know, which is why I'm asking.
But that this is just so amazing. So I have a color question for you.
I don't know, maybe this was like, six months ago or a year ago, there was this massive trending, get your colors done kind of thing.
I don't remember what that was called, but is it important to know what colors are good on you and how do you find that out?
[00:51:22] Speaker A: I say, now, I will say this. For me, it's natural to try on something and go, ooh, that's not my color.
Yeah, that's probably not rocking, because maybe it gets lost in my skin tone or something like that. And so I think, naturally speaking, if people really trusted their intuition, if you tried it on and looked at yourself with it on in the mirror, without really scrutinizing anything else except for the fact, does this color look good? It may not be the style of dress or feel fit, but does this color bring life to my skin, my face, my hair? Yes, it might be a good color for you. If it's something that sort of gets washed out when you're looking at yourself in the mirror, that might not be the color that you want to focus on buying a lot of clothes in. Yeah. So there are some yellows that just some pastel colors. Really bright, bright colors or muted pastels don't look really good on me. So a nice, crisp Boulder color, a rust or almost borderline orange, might look better on me.
Just have to really trust yourself.
[00:52:45] Speaker B: Yeah, it. This is one of those moments where I say, take a Tracy shopping with you.
Grab a friend.
[00:52:53] Speaker A: Yes.
[00:52:54] Speaker B: She's so good. She's like, you know, she doesn't just say, no, that Looks not so great. She just gives this sort of like.
And then. I know.
[00:53:02] Speaker A: And then you know.
[00:53:03] Speaker B: Yeah, you do kind of get that vibe when you look at the color and you're like, I. I just feel like it washes me out or. Or something is not working here. And then you get the color where your skin looks beautiful or your eyes just pop, or I do at least have some of those vibes. My fashion sense, not so much, but the color, I can kind of get a sense for. But people are paying or we're paying for all of these winter palettes and summer palettes. I was curious if you had an opinion on that or. It sounds like you don't think that's even necessary.
[00:53:40] Speaker A: No, I really, you know, people say, hey, don't wear white after a certain time.
I'm not a real big fan or stickler of what they call rules, because again, if you find something that is a darker color, but it feels good on you for the summer and you're not out walking around in the dead heat of the day, you're going to work, wear that. And that is okay. I think we focus too much on the don'ts versus empowering people to do what works best for them. And to your point about, you know, taking that friend, I will say this because I. I shop by myself pretty much, hands down, all the time. And some people do, when you're in the dressing room, if there's someone else in there and you step out, a lot of times they're okay with telling you, say, hey, what do you think about this? I mean, I've been asked tons of times and it's a stranger. And yes, you may can't, you know, take it to the bank every time. But sometimes they're okay saying no, not really. But that other one you had on was cute or something along those lines. So it's okay to get opinions from a stranger if you know, it's someone that they're out shopping to and maybe they have an eye for something.
But I would steer clear of being too focused on what I shouldn't wear and more focused on how can I show up in things that I like.
[00:55:10] Speaker B: I love that. Yes.
I want to know what time and where you'll be shopping. So I could have check my outfits, you know, drop it in the show notes. I will be shopping at so and so here.
[00:55:26] Speaker A: I love a good sale. So, yes, I will. I will pop in online.
I do a lot of online shopping just because.
[00:55:35] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah, for sure. I. I love online shopping.
I think the lady at one of the local stores knows me because I. I normally buy in a size bigger and smaller and sometimes multiples. And she's like, hi, Karen.
You know, I kept a few. You know, I always have to throw that in there. Yeah, but where do you love to shop? What are some national chains? And. And you know what, Throw out something approachable and then throw out one of your like special treat places you might go for something special.
[00:56:10] Speaker A: Sure. So my top ones, H and M, has now become a favorite. And the reason is because they have an amazing clearance rack that you can just kind of pop in on that H and M. They have good sales. You just have to be like, you know, one of their little members. And so they'll send you the notifications of when they're having a sale. Love H M.
Goodwill is also my favorite. There are certain things I won't buy at a Goodwill. Typically I'm buying their blazers and ties. That's my go to for blazers and ties because blazers can be overpriced at times. So you can find a good blazer there. If you're comfortable with thrifting Fashion Nova, I have understood. I have learned how to shop fashion Nova. Like an expert. I can pull up the picture and say, nope, that's not quality. Or oh, that's the one you want to get.
So what I say for anyone that's going to shop online, reach your reviews. The girlies will tell you if that's not a good look. So read the reviews. And they have such amazing sales when they do catch a 50% off sell and they have 50% off site wide and do it that way.
If it comes to higher end, I'm not way, way high end because I like to get more clothes for less. But I love my coach purses. I love my ugg boots. And those are typically not things unless you're at an outlet that you're going to find on sale. So I'll buy those, you know, full price J. Crew. I'll pop in every now and again because again, they have really cool blazers.
And what is one of my other go to places that is Banana Republic.
[00:57:54] Speaker B: Oh, okay.
I need to roll into some of those stores. I thought H M was for like young people. But see, this is where I'm off.
[00:58:02] Speaker A: Maybe it is.
Again, I don't, I don't, I don't go by those rules. They have really nice slacks. I want to say a few of my last videos. Maybe there's slacks.
I get slacks from there. And they are very, very comfortable. And Nice.
Oh, at a good price.
[00:58:24] Speaker B: Okay, I'm going to have to check that out.
I have a question for you, Serratta, about. Well, actually, let me just drop this note in. This goes to show again how.
And I can poke fun of myself here.
I remember buying all these Coach purses.
I would save up for them. I had a Coach diaper bag that I converted into a laptop bag. It was like so great. And I kept them in great condition. And I just cleaned out my closet and I donated all of them to Goodwill. And a friend is like, coaches, back in. What did you do? And I was like, well, I made someone happy at the thrift store is what I did. You did.
So I guess I wasn't aware of that until recently.
But the question that I have for you, Sarata, is our partners, and let's just say we're in a heterosexual relationship and we are going to a barbecue.
What could we encourage them to wear and feel comfortable if they're looking a little sloppy?
[00:59:36] Speaker A: Sure. A nice pair of jeans, pretty much year round and nice for whatever they're comfortable with because they have so many styles when it comes to jeans.
A nice pair of jeans goes a long way because you're talking about a comfortable event.
So why not be comfortable? A nice pair of jeans and they can really have a nice.
I don't want to call them T shirts because people sort of get turned off sometimes by just saying T shirt. But a lot of different companies have these lightweight shirts that are almost the style of a T shirt. But maybe they have like a little stripe on the sleeve or something that jazzes it up just a little bit so it's not too far outside of the comfort zone. And they're still comfortable. They don't feel like, hey, someone stuffed me in this. Now I gotta go to the barbecue and now I'm uncomfortable.
[01:00:27] Speaker B: Okay, we have a fashion emergency. I need your help with my brother, my dad and my boyfriend love to wear things to the bitter end. You know, it's sometimes see through some of these shirts and undies and whatever.
How can you best support the men in your life who are attached to some items that are really just about to bust a hole in and it makes them look once again sort of unkempt and sloppy when they get out and about. What do we say to these men?
[01:01:04] Speaker A: You know, my husband has a lot of things that he loves to the bitter end.
The bitter end.
I, over the years, have purchased things that I think he likes. Yeah, well, what has happened, especially with has my fashion sense has Evolved.
He has sort of evolved with it just on its own because I didn't put that pressure on him to do anything different. Because this is what you want to rock and you feel comfortable in it.
Go ahead, do it. Now, of course, if it's something that has a hole in it or something like that, we can get that fixed. We can get you another one like that and replace that so you can slide in the replacements, you know, if, if they'll allow that. But I would say get them a couple of comfortable pieces. And again, like you said earlier, your friend that is the stylist, you maybe you take them to a store where they have the on site like Men's Warehouse and different places like that that has an on site consultant that helps them to know what they look good in.
And it's not you, it's someone else.
And then they have all these beautiful mirrors set up. I promise you, the mirrors in the stores make you look like a million bucks. I don't know what they have on them, but they're seeing themselves and they get one or two outfits that are their go to dress up or stepping out outfits and just let them rock with that. And maybe you do that ever so often until they're able to do it for themselves.
[01:02:53] Speaker B: That's great. I, I do think that direct. This looks sloppy. Just doesn't work. So we need, we need some loving ways to do that. And it sounds like, it sounds like, yeah. And just showing up as your best encourages other people to do the same. Really? I think you're right. I do. Serrata, I could talk with you about fashion for days because I clearly need some support in this area. But I want to make sure that our listeners know how to reach you and also understand how they can get in touch with you and maybe even work with you. What are the best ways for them to do that?
[01:03:32] Speaker A: Absolutely. So the unimagined life. It is the underscore unimagined life. And I know that's a mouthful, but that is the best way to follow me on every single platform.
You can also Google my name, Serata Murphy, and that'll pull up all of my other accounts.
Even my email address is public, but I don't currently do any sort of consults or anything when it comes to fashion. I just more give the tips and show them, hey, this is some things that you might like. I've had people drop in my DM and say, hey, just a one off. I want to see what you think about this outfit. And I'll just give them whatever advice that I can. But definitely following along on the journey cuz who knows where this is going to end up.
[01:04:21] Speaker B: Well, I'll DM you a picture of me with my scarf.
[01:04:25] Speaker A: Yes.
[01:04:25] Speaker B: Tbd. TBD on how it's going to be incorporated in the outfit but it's going to be pink, so I love it. I love it.
[01:04:32] Speaker A: I'm cheering for you over here.
[01:04:34] Speaker B: Oh my gosh. You are such a beautiful woman. And by I want to first say that the way that you approach life with your wisdom, your thoughtfulness and your kindness and inclusiveness is rare. And so thank you for putting all of that content out online and for being the person that a lot of people need on a daily basis to encourage them. So thank you for doing that.
Thank you for coming on the show today. I really hope that we can have you back again and all the listeners here, all these notes, all the links, we'll drop them all into the show notes so you have easy access.
Sarata, have a great summer.
[01:05:22] Speaker A: Thank you. You do the same. Enjoy the vacation.
[01:05:25] Speaker B: Thank you.
And that brings us to the end of another episode.
I hope you enjoyed the content and I'd love it if you would share this with a friend or family that you think would enjoy it. This is such a great time. Middle age, and I want to spread that message.
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I'm going to leave you like I do every episode.
Remember, it's never too late, you're not too old and you're definitely not dead.
It.
