Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] Speaker A: Foreign.
Welcome to 3564, a podcast for middle agers. Today I'm welcoming Tina Leanne to the show. You are in for such a treat. She is an author, a life coach, an expert in human design and neuro linguistic processing. She. She has such an inspirational story for you and practical tips on how to make your way through the most difficult moments in life. Tina, welcome to the show. It is so good to have you here.
[00:00:44] Speaker B: Thank you so much. Thanks for having me. I'm really looking forward to this conversation.
[00:00:48] Speaker A: Me too. I love it when I get connected with people like you. Somehow, some way, the universe aligns. We were digitally in the same place at the same time and I've been really looking forward to having you on. So. So yay, you're here.
[00:01:04] Speaker B: Yeah, it's wonderful. So wonderful. Can't wait to get started and dive in.
[00:01:08] Speaker A: Well, why don't you tell us, how old are you?
[00:01:10] Speaker B: I am 55, but I feel like I'm 25. That's what I say.
[00:01:14] Speaker A: Okay. Okay. You just rolled right into that. You feel like you're 25. I love that.
[00:01:19] Speaker B: I set this up a long time ago when I was much younger, late 20s, early 30s. I am never going to age. I am never going to age. I'm always going to be young. I'm always going to be young. And I set my mind way back then that as I age, I want to continue to be active and I want to continue to do the things that I love to do, like hiking and snowboarding and traveling. And I want to continue to do all of those things until I die.
[00:01:44] Speaker A: Yeah. You know, I do think staying active is really key in life enjoyment in general.
I gave up snowboarding because I went back to skiing. I felt like it was easier in my. I'm 45 and I just felt like it was a little bit easier for me to do all the things I like to do on the skis than the skis snowboard. But good for you out there on the snowboard. I love it.
[00:02:06] Speaker B: Yeah, it's so fun. That's cool that you're a snowboarder. I love it.
[00:02:09] Speaker A: The season is kind of not that great this year in California, but you're right by the slopes, right?
[00:02:14] Speaker B: Yeah, I'm in Salt Lake City, so very close to the slopes. And also, it wasn't the best season this year. It started late, ended early. But we did, we did have some decent snowstorms here and there. And we. I didn't have a chance to get out, so it's Fun. I want to keep doing it as long as I can.
[00:02:30] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah, for sure. Well, you mentioned your goal is to stay young. How do you stay young when your body is slowly not able to do the things you were able to do?
[00:02:41] Speaker B: I start with food, first of all. First and foremost, I eat clean, healthy food that's alive.
And yes, I do have an occasional piece of cake or a cookie or something like that.
[00:02:54] Speaker A: Please. Yes, yes.
[00:02:55] Speaker B: You know, and I love. There's a really good pizza place not far from my house, so I do indulge in a few luxury items that I like once in a while. But overall, I eat healthy every day. A lot of fruits and vegetables and lentils. And I love really flavorful, healthy food. And so I start there, make sure I drink enough water. I'm in the desert, the high desert, so I feel like I'm constantly drinking water. But I try to drink as much water as I can throughout the day, move my body every day. I lift weights three times a week. And I get out for a walk every evening. Just about every evening, unless it's too cold. I'm getting to be a little wussy in my old age with the cold weather. So that is one area now. Now that I'm a older, I'm like, oh, it's, you know, it's 30. I don't feel like going for a walk today.
Every once in a while I'll do that. But I like to go for a walk every day. I'll go to the gym and do some cardio once in a while. And then I'm biking outside, hiking. Like I said, I just keep moving my body, stretching. I make sure to stretch every day. I just keep moving my body and eating healthy. Those are the main things. And then the mindset around it just follow suit. Right. I feel like I don't have to work hard at my mindset because I set that long time ago and I just live it. And it's in the lifestyle that you just keep the mindset going along with it.
[00:04:15] Speaker A: Have you always been this regimented about your health or has this sort of increased as you've aged?
[00:04:23] Speaker B: It's evolved. As a child, you know, we didn't eat the healthiest.
[00:04:27] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:04:28] Speaker B: And so my eating that my food health has shifted and evolved over the years. I've always been very active. When I was a kid, we used to run around outside until the street lights came on and I heard my mom's whistle. It was time to go home. Right. So that was my childhood, which led right into Joining the track team in middle school and then the swim team and track team and cross country team in high school or in high school. So I stayed active. And then I was so interested in hiking and snowboarding and skiing, cross country skiing and all that stuff too. As I went into high school and then into early adulthood, I never stopped being active. That's just always been a part of my life and my lifestyle. I just love it. Like I work hard during the week and then I play hard on the nights and weekends outside. So if I'm not working, I'm outside.
And my eating has evolved. So I used to not eat very healthy. I got married around 31 years old. And then I started shifting more like in my late 20s, early 30s, being more aware of what I was putting into my body.
So I was eating healthier and healthier and healthier. And I remember reading, I have, I had read an article a long time ago that a personal trainer wrote and he said, as long as you're eating 80% healthy, the other 20% doesn't matter. And I thought, oh, okay, well, I'm already doing that. I'm doing fine then, right?
[00:05:48] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:05:49] Speaker B: And so I thought that was good. Until my early to mid-40s, I had some health problems. I had adrenal gland failure and I was getting migraines five days a week and couldn't sleep fatigue. I was really not feeling good. My God, I was experiencing some depression. There's a big shift in my life and it really threw me off for a minute because I had been so active my whole life and it really took me out for a minute. And so I took a step back and I looked at everything in my life first. I started going to my doctors to figure out what was going on with my migraines. And I had cat scans and MRIs and all that good stuff. And they couldn't figure, they couldn't find the root cause. And so they gave me a prescription and said, here, take this when you feel a migraine coming on. And to me that wasn't good enough because I had been so active and living this working hard, having fun kind of lifestyle. And it really, like, it slowed me down so much. I'm like, I don't want to live the rest of my life like this. I just, I don't want to do this. And so I went down the rabbit hole of Google's and looked into what causes migraines, how can I remedy migraines, things like that. And one thing led to another and I was learning more and More and more about food and really diving deep into how we really are, what we eat and learning more about microbiome and all these things. And so I decided that day that for 30 days I was going to cut out everything except fruits and vegetables to just start. Just have 30 days of pure, clean food. And then after that, bring one thing in at a time so I can feel what it feels like in my body. So I did that for 30 days. Very strict. And then after the 30 days, I had a piece of cake because I wanted to see what does sugar do to my body. So I ate a piece of cake. And the next day I had a migraine. And I thought, it's the sugar. Oh, no, I know. And then. So I let a couple days go by and then I thought, well, I'm going to see what. I'm going to eat a piece of cheese and see what dairy does. And so I ate a piece of cheese and within 20 minutes, all I wanted to do was take a nap. And. And I thought, is it dairy really that's causing this fatigue in my body now everybody's body's different, right? This is what's going on in my body, right? And so I let a couple days go by and I thought, wait, I'm going to test this again, just to see, because I look at everything like a science experiment, right? And it makes it more playful and fun and it doesn't feel as regimented for me. That's. It just works for me like that. So I. I thought, wait, I'm going to try this again and see what happens. And so I did the same thing. And again, same thing. I got a migraine the next day after I ate sugar. And so from that moment on, for the next, probably the next year and a half, I didn't eat any sugar. Zero. Like, not even condiments. I didn't eat any food out of a package. I went hardcore all, wow for a whole year. And I thought, I need to just clean out my whole system.
And so I was really strict. And I say that I was strict, but I was having fun with it because I was finding new recipes to cook and using spices and all the food tasted so good. And I was just like, it didn't. I was really having fun with it while I was being very strict. Strict sounds kind of negative, but not really. I was being really disciplined. But also I was having a lot of fun with it. And then people would ask me, don't you miss cake? Don't you miss ice cream? Then I was like, no. The only thing I'm missing out on is inflammation and feeling sick. I feel so good. I'm going to keep doing this for the rest of my life.
And so that's. And so now I'm not as strict. I'll let myself, you know, cheat days or a little cheat here and there. My body can handle it. Now if I eat a piece of cake or if I eat some sugar or something like that, I don't get a migraine. My body is cleaned up and I can handle all that stuff now. So.
[00:09:21] Speaker A: Wow, that's. That's quite a journey. I admire it. I definitely feel intimidated by thinking about doing something like that. I have slowly moved more towards whole foods. You know, don't buy the packaged items. Start from a real piece of whatever it is, the avocado, the apple, and go from there. But goodness, when you have a busy lifestyle and a bunch of kids. I have three children, tween ish types. It can be really hard to keep fresh food in the house that everyone agrees on. It's a journey that I'm on and it is, it is slow going but it's, it's moving at least in the right direction. But I, I do admire that journey that you've taken. I. It sounds like it was enjoyable for the most part. Did you ever stumble or did you just have so much encouragement by the results? You just were able to proceed, proceed, proceed.
[00:10:15] Speaker B: It was never difficult for me. I shouldn't say never. Mostly not difficult because I felt so good. I really was not in a good space. Those migraines, it started off with just a headache here and there and then, then more consistent headache, then a migraine. Which am I it? That just took me out for the day, you know, and then even the next day I called it, I would call it a migraine hangover. I would just feel really like not 100% the next day. And then it grew into almost five migraines a week to the point where the only thing that I was doing was managing my energy so I could. I had a portrait photography business at the time. I was managing my energy to conserve it to. For my photo shoots. So I couldn't do anything personal at all. I couldn't plan anything because as those headaches turned into migraines and that whole evolution, I was rescheduling things so often and people were getting a little irritated with me that I just stopped scheduling things ahead of time. And when people would ask me to do something, I would tell them, I don't know if I'M going to be able to or not. So I'll let you know, it's going to have to be last minute. So it really was, it really was affecting my life in a really negative way. And so when I changed my eating and I had results, within a week, I could feel a difference. Within two weeks, I felt like a completely different person. And then there was a, you know, by the end of that 30 days, it kind of like plateaued a little bit. You know, I felt so different because I had felt so bad. Right. And it wasn't. My body was completely cleaned up and detoxified in 30 days. But it was enough of a difference to where I was. Like, I am never going back to that. I'm just not going back. And so in my mind, the only thing that I was giving up, like I said before was inflammation and feeling sick. And so it was just forward momentum from then on. And I still, when I would go to events, birthday parties or weddings or things like that, I'll eat the sides. You know, I didn't, I didn't. I never made a big fuss out of it when I was going to someone's house. I never made a fuss. And like, I can only eat this, that and the other thing. I would bring something that I can eat, you know, to share and then I would eat, you know, whatever was laid out and that was it.
[00:12:23] Speaker A: That's a really cool story. I. I do feel inspired to reexamine everything I have, like I said, been on that journey, but it's. It really is one of those strange things where you don't know you could have felt so good until you feel that good. Like you didn't know how bad you felt.
[00:12:40] Speaker B: Yes, exactly.
[00:12:41] Speaker A: Yeah. Well, it sounds like you have some really good recipes. Maybe you could put together some of your favorites. We can drop them into the show notes. I'm sure there's some that even your friends who don't eat clean love because they're so flavorful. So, yeah, let's get some of those from you. I think we could all use some new recipes and if you have ones that are crowd favorites, then let's do it. Let's share those.
[00:13:03] Speaker B: I'd be happy to do that. Yeah.
[00:13:05] Speaker A: So tell me about your last five years. I know that you have had incredible transitions.
Changes. I'd love to hear how you would encapsulate the last five years of your life.
[00:13:18] Speaker B: I got a divorce, lived like a nomad for a year and moved out of state. Shut down a business and started a business.
[00:13:27] Speaker A: Oh, My gosh. All of those are a thing? Yes, all of those.
[00:13:30] Speaker B: All of that in five years? Yeah. I ended my marriage after 21 years. We. My husband, ex husband, and I lovingly ended our marriage after 21 years. We found that we were not happy and hadn't been happy for a long time and came to this point of we felt like we were staying together to not hurt each other or our families. And in the midst of that, we were actually hurting each other and holding each other back from living the life that each one of us wanted to live. So we decided to separate. And we didn't get lawyers or anything. We. There was no fighting. There was, you know, we very lovingly uncoupled, I think is the word that people are using now. But we just very lovingly let go of that marriage and dissolved that marriage. And I knew that I didn't want to stay. At that time, I was living in the Milwaukee area in Wisconsin, and I knew that I didn't want to stay there, but I didn't know where I wanted to live.
And so I decided to go on a road trip for a year and to find myself again and to find where I wanted to live.
And so I left Wisconsin and I went east and south along the east coast and crossed the country west and then went north through New Mexico, Arizona and into Utah. And when I landed in Salt Lake City, I thought, well, this is where I want to be right now. And so that's how I landed here in Salt Lake City City.
[00:15:00] Speaker A: I thought I heard an accent in there somewhere. Now I can. Now I can pinpoint that. Okay.
Only sometimes. No, but it's. It's good. I have not truly met a person in real life. You're the first person that has ever told me that they uncoupled in a way that was loving and respectful. My hat goes off to you and your husband or your. Your last partner for being able to do that. I people. You read about it in magazines. You say, oh, Gwyneth Paltrow did that, but you actually did it. I have not seen a process go so smoothly. It is normally very upsetting for all parties and quite traumatic and brings out the worst. I raise my hand in that because I have. I had a very difficult divorce myself. It was the opposite of loving. The end was terrible, and I think I would reduce some of the things that happened. But hats off to you. You did that. Wow.
[00:15:56] Speaker B: Thank you. Yeah. I just. I think both of us. I know I'm not going to speak for my. My ex husband but for me, I just felt like when you spend that much time with someone, there's no reason. Even though it's not working, you know, we had been living like roommates for, for several years. Even though it's not working as a marriage, we're still really good friends.
And I see so many people who do have really difficult divorces. And I would often ask why, why does it have to be so difficult? Why can't we love each other through this process?
Just like you loved each other through the marriage, through the wedding ceremony, through the marriage, let's just keep on loving each other through the separation as well. Why not? Let's just do that.
And so we each, each one of us, I held space for him and he held space for me. And we didn't, you know, without even talking about it, we never even talked about it. We just, it just how it unfolded. And it was really a beautiful process too, you know, because there's a lot of paperwork to fill out and a lot of things to discuss and you know, sometimes I would miss something on a piece of. A piece of paperwork or he would miss something. And neither one of us were like, you missed number 10 or you filled this out wrong. Or neither one of us were like, oh, hey, I see number 10 is still blank. What should I. I'll fill that in for you if you want. What do you want me to put there? Or you know what I mean? We just made it like really super, like, how can I help you? And he was the same, like helping, how can I help you? And even the judge said, he said, I've never seen two people in a courtroom treating each other the way you are and getting a divorce. He said, I've never seen this before. And he said, it's too bad that you couldn't work it out, but my heart goes out to both of you.
[00:17:36] Speaker A: Yeah, you said the word beautiful. And that is a unusual word to associate with a divorce, especially after a 20 plus year marriage.
I only wish that more of us who have to go through that process because no one wants to.
Those who walk that path can do it in a way like you have. And that is not easy. How did you do that? Did you have support? Did you have a therapist? Were you reading books? Were you always just such an angel? Like, how did you do this so well?
[00:18:08] Speaker B: Oh, I'm not an angel. I don't know about that. I saw so much fighting in my life, in my mind. That doesn't need to be the go to communication first.
Sometimes we do need to fight for ourselves. And we need to fight for things.
But can we work through things through communication first? Can we just sit down and have a conversation first? That's where I always go. And from a young age, often ask the question in my own mind or maybe even out loud to somebody in conversation, like, why does everybody. Why do we have to fight so much? Why can't we all just get along? You know, we're all in this together. We're all going through very similar things. Right. We experience similar things in our humanness and throughout our lifetimes. How beautiful would the world be if we supported each other and we were open and vulnerable about the things that we were going through? The world would be so different. And so that's the space that I come from. And I've done a lot of self development work, a lot of healing work throughout my life. And my ex husband is a very kind man.
And so I think the two of us just maybe naturally didn't feel a need to fight.
Yeah, we both were just like, there's no need to fight right now. This isn't the time for a fight. This is the time to love each other through this.
[00:19:26] Speaker A: Wow. Well, like I said, it sounds almost fake because it is so unnormal in the conversation around divorce. So I'm really glad that you had that journey, and I certainly hope that someone can learn from you through the process that you went through.
Do you think that this divorce was a midlife crisis?
[00:19:48] Speaker B: I don't. And just to add one more thing before I answer that question, because we were. We loved each other through the whole thing doesn't mean it made it easier for what we were going through. That was one of the most profound, deeply healing, transformative experiences of my life.
And it was not easy. I'll just say that we had kind of separated at some point in our marriage, and we couldn't bring it back. And we had tried for years, several years. We went to marriage counseling. You know, we had some deep conversations. We tried to bring it back for several years, and we just couldn't get there. And so it came to a point, where do we live like roommates for the rest of our lives? Or do we split and then allow each other give ourselves the gift of living the life that each one of us wants to live? And so we decided to split. So it wasn't. It wasn't a midlife crisis. It was definitely just the evolution of our relationship.
[00:20:46] Speaker A: Do you think that you've experienced a midlife crisis?
[00:20:49] Speaker B: I feel a little different about the midlife crisis thing in the way that people define midlife crisis. So I feel like we have times in our life where we are just go, go, go, and we're doing the things and we're aiming for the thing. And then one day we wake up and we're like, how did I get here? You know? Or we're like 1% off and going on that trajectory, but we don't really know that. That we're the 1% off until we get someplace that we weren't exactly aiming for. Like, maybe we were sort of aiming for that, but it's not exactly what I had envisioned. Right. I've heard some people use the airplane example of, like, if you take off from California to New York and you're just a little bit off, you'll end up like in Florida or something like that.
[00:21:39] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:21:39] Speaker B: I mean, just watch that whole thing. But so I think there are times in our life where we're where we're just like, wait a second, this isn't exactly what I wanted. Or it's not exactly what I thought it was going to be. Because we can vision, we can future vision, and we can imagine what something would look like, but we don't know until we get there. Reality doesn't match our fantasy or what we create in our head. Right. Reality doesn't necessarily always match that. And so I feel like we get to this space and then we're like, whoa, wait, I need to course correct. So I'm going to rip the band aid off and course correct. And that could be looked at as a quarter life crisis, a midlife crisis, a late life crisis. It could be looked at like that, or it could be looked at like, wow, this is not what I wanted. And now I'm going to go get what I want.
[00:22:23] Speaker A: I've really flipped the script in my own mind about what a midlife crisis is. And I'm going to say something that sounds really strange, but I think a midlife crisis is something that is good.
And why. I think it's that precipice, that point at which you say, who am I? What kind of life am I living?
Time is limited.
Am I following the path I want to be on? And it's that point at which you make that choice. So is it a crisis? Is it an opportunity? Is it a rebirth? I don't care what you call it. It is an opportunity to get the life to be the person you want to be. And so, hey, I say bring on the midlife crisis because you're just gonna hopefully get to a place where you want to be. Now, there's always two paths. Maybe you don't have the strength, the ability, the courage, the support to make it to the place you want to be, but my God, I almost feel like there's no excuse. With books and podcasts and articles and resources, you can claw your way back from anything if you have the determination to do so. So I say, hey, if you've had a midlife crisis and you've done something about it, great. So glad it came because now you are who you are. I actually have some friends, Tina, that I believe are exciting experiencing a midlife crisis. And they wouldn't say that they are. And externally I can see how they're approaching situations, people, everything rapidly, differently and trying on new hats. Who am I if I'm like this? And who am I if I'm like that and kind of leaving a past path of destruction behind them. I don't think that they realize that. But I say bring on the crisis. Give.
Give everyone an opportunity to change the path, to have the rebirth. And I wish I could just raise my hand and say, I am such a good example of what taking a deep look at your life is and changing it, no matter how hard it is. I have talked a lot about my divorce on the podcast, my transformation in lots of ways, my health, my body, my mind, all of it. But it is, it is a full on investment. I would say you can't play small. You've got to kind of go all in and you've got to put the time in and the effort and it's not a magic pill, that's for sure. The word journey sounds so cheesy, but it is a marathon, it is not a sprint. And I say it's worth every little bit of heartache and difficulty to get through it because it is so worth it. It is so worth it. A lot of people ask me, you know, do you think you have had a midlife crisis? And I say yes, many crises leading up to the major one, which I would say was probably my divorce and then crises after the divorce. And like I said, do we have to use this word, crises? Maybe, maybe we call it opportunities. And you get big and small opportunities to course correct. And I needed some big ones. So I'm curious how you now maintain this level of self awareness?
How do you stay on the path that you wanted so bad and that you're on right now? How do you do that? What kind of support do you, do you have on a regular basis?
[00:25:57] Speaker B: That's a good question. I agree with everything that you said, too. And I like that word opportunities. And I also use the word rebirth a lot. Like, how many times in my life am I going to be reborn? So, like the phoenix rising, I love it.
[00:26:11] Speaker A: So.
[00:26:11] Speaker B: And you're right, it is so worth it. It is so worth it to feel alive. And also, like you said, it's not easy. And when you choose this, you feel everything.
One day you're feeling like, what am I doing? Oh, my gosh. The next day you're like, yay, I'm on top of the world. And sometimes you feel all of that in the same day or in the same two, you know, in the same hour. And that's why we're here.
While we're alive, I want to feel alive, right? And so that's what keeps me going, is this feeling of aliveness and this feeling of I get to create the life that I want, the way I want to. And it's so fun, and it's so fulfilling. And so I do have support. I have three friends. I have a very small group of friends. We're very tight, can tell each other anything.
So I feel like finding some safe friends that you can like your ride or die. People that you can be the most vulnerable with and the most authentic, and they'll. They see you at your. At your worst, and they see you at your best, and they love all of you and all of it. And. And for you, you know, the same. It's cyclical, right? And you're there for them and their allness, right? And so having a couple good girlfriends is a must.
And my cousin is. He's like my brother. And so I. If I have that masculine in my life, you know, I can call him and I can, you know, I can cry on his shoulder if needed or. He's always there for me, too.
I have a business coach, so I have support in the areas where I feel like I need the most support, and running my business is one of them. And then I just. I have my.
My practices, you know, that I do, like meditation and journaling and getting outside moving my body always goes back to moving my body. You know, I make sure to move my body every day. That's my biggest support is myself and making sure that I give myself what I need. Being out in nature, I make sure to get out in nature. And I make sure to step away from work once in a while, too.
[00:28:15] Speaker A: A lot of us are very familiar with meditation. I'm a meditator. I'm A. I'm going to call it an alternative meditator because I like to walk and listen to meditations and I like to take a bath and listen to meditations. I, I kind of mix a little mix and match of the physical nature. I'm not literally sitting on a pillow normally when I'm incorporating these meditations, but journaling is something we hear a lot about. And what do you suggest for folks who would like to start journaling or are journaling and they're just not getting much out of it?
[00:28:53] Speaker B: I guess for journaling, number one, find what works for you and do that because there's so much advice out there, right? And so many different ways to utilize that tool. And so find what works for you. So try different things, dabble, do the science experiment. I always say, plan the experiment of the experience to figure out what works for you. And so a couple things you can just completely brain dump. Because a lot of people are ruminating in their heads, right? They're constantly thinking, thinking and looping around in thoughts. And so for those, I would say just brain dump. Just write it all, get it all out onto the paper. And when you're handwriting, look this up. Don't quote me as fact on this number. I could be way off, but I remember reading years back somewhere, you, when you hand write versus type, you're firing 60,000 neurons more than when you're typing something like that. Look that up to make sure. But there's a. There's a reason why handwriting is more effective than typing. So another thing you can do that I do is if I have a question that I want answered, like with business or anything, you know, I'll ask the question and then I'll just start writing and then I'll find that the answer comes to me while I'm writing. And then sometimes I'll write before bed and it helps me fall asleep a little faster just to get things out of my head and onto the paper. And then most of the time though, I'll pick up my journal and I'll write in the morning. A lot comes through in the morning, in the quiet hours of the early morning. And I don't really ask a question or anything. I just kind of like put pen to paper and I just allow whatever to come through, to come through. True. And so I would say for those listening is take the pressure off and it doesn't need to look a certain way. Do what comes naturally for you.
[00:30:31] Speaker A: I have a confession to make. I am a big believer in gratitude lists. In fact, I'VE done a podcast episode on intention lists and gratitude lists, and I was going through some drawers and I have just completely.
That's fallen off my radar. And I'm like the preacher of it. I love it, I believe in it. And I think there. It has been a good month since I have spent the time doing that. And I was a daily writer. I've got to get back into it, I suppose. I know some of you out there are the same. You've done. This just fell off your radar because of busyness or you weren't getting anything out of it. I'm going to dive back in. I'm going to do what you've suggested here and use a pen and not tap something out of my phone, which I have done as well, and just see what comes out. But I got to give that a habitual approach instead of a piecemeal approach. I have failed there and I need to get back on the wagon.
[00:31:26] Speaker B: Yeah, I like that. You're right. And gratitude, too. If you don't have anything, if nothing is coming to mind, just write about something you're grateful for. Right. That's so huge, what you just said. And if you do that right away in the beginning of the day, if you wake up every day looking for the positive, what am I grateful for? Yeah, it just sets your whole day off in a really positive way. So that's. That's great.
[00:31:48] Speaker A: I do think that this meditation piece and this journaling piece and nature and being outdoors, all of this sort of circles back to.
I'll just call it spirituality because it is. It means something different to everybody.
And I have noticed when I fall out of my own spiritual practices, which are probably different than yours, which are different than the listeners, that is when I am in the wasteland, that is when I feel hopeless. That is when I don't have the energy to think about changing or to seem like there's a better way. It just is very easy to fall out of practice with these things like meditation and. Or prayer, depending on your belief system and. Or reading books that are encouraging you in the kind of human you want to be or gathering with others, whatever that looks like, who also have similar beliefs, who can support each other. It's something that I've realized. Tina has been absent. You know, I've kind of been really good. Oh, I'm going to be a meditator. Oh, I'm going to be a journaler. And then, oh, I'm going to meet with others who have similar beliefs. And you kind of need everything you can't be firing just one of these spiritual muscles. You've gotta be flexing them all to really get the full effect. And I am finding that it is just really, really uncommon, yet a high desire for people to feel like they are supporting their spiritual journey. And I know that that's something that is very important to you.
What are some other ways that you might encourage our listeners to connect on that level? And I know some might be specific to your belief system, but I'm really curious what. What's been working for you?
[00:33:41] Speaker B: You don't need to do the same thing every day because we need different things on different days, right? Like, some days I just want to be by one of my friends, you know, I just want to have lunch with one of my friends, and that's what I need that day. Right? And so if that's all I have time to fit in is lunch with my friend, then I will scrap journaling and all the other stuff and fit that in. Right?
[00:34:02] Speaker A: Yeah. Yeah.
[00:34:03] Speaker B: We're all different, and we're all so unique, and each one of us needs a little something different, and it fluctuates daily. And so what I would say is, have some grace. Give yourself what you need that day. Don't make it a to do list of, I'm going to meditate and journal and read 40 pages and, you know, drink eight gallons of water. And, you know, we can't do that.
[00:34:25] Speaker A: I know. I'm like, I checked the box. Did I do it? If so, I know.
[00:34:29] Speaker B: And we can't do that. Right? There just isn't enough time in the day. And also then that takes away from the whole flow process of it, right? And so if we just. If we discover a few things, like, oh, journaling makes me feel so good. So I'm going to do. I'm going to journal as much as I can throughout the week. And if it's only one sentence a day, if it's only what I'm grateful for that day, and that's all I have time for, I'm going to give myself that three seconds, you know, and then. And that's enough. And if I have 30 minutes today, I'm gonna give myself that. That 30 minutes, you know, or if it's like you're feeling like you've been stuck inside for a while, put on your calendar, Go for a hike or go for a walk outside, or go for a walk on the beach. Wherever you are, wherever you live, whatever's available to you. Walk in a park, put it on your Calendar as a non negotiable and hold strong with your boundaries. Cause people are gonna call and they're gonna ask for your time and your kids are gonna want your time and bring your kids along, you know, bring your husband, bring your partner along.
So put it in your calendar and have some strong boundaries. And then the other thing that I do sometimes too is I'll just take the long way home from a meeting and I'll drive through the mountains. I'll drive through the foothills instead of take the interstate and open the window and let the wind. Let the wind hit my face. And I'll maybe turn the radio off so I can have some quiet time. And you, you know, you talk about meditating while moving. I do the same thing. I call it dynamic meditation. Right.
[00:35:52] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:35:53] Speaker B: While I'm driving or walking or.
Or on the elliptical, you know, then I'm kind of like in that meditative state too. You can take the long way home from work, you can take the long way home from the grocery store. You can go. Go sit in the park for 10 minutes before you go to the grocery store. You know, there's all these little ways that you could give yourself five or 10 minutes in the day. No matter how busy your schedule is, you could always find five to 10 minutes.
[00:36:18] Speaker A: That's so inspiring because it is so attainable.
However, it is so opposite of how I approach things. I'm like, what's the fastest way? I gotta get to the next.
And really intentionally thinking I need some time right now to process or just be in silence. And using the car as an opportunity for that.
[00:36:39] Speaker B: That's.
[00:36:40] Speaker A: That's great. I'm. I'm always floating to the next podcast or trying to call a friend. I rarely sit in silence in the car. And it probably is more of an opportunity than. Than I've ever imagined. That's a really good one. I never really thought about that.
[00:36:54] Speaker B: Funny enough, I've always done that. Every once in a while I'll turn my radio off. But when I was on my road trip for the year, my car was my literal and metaphorical vehicle of transformation. Literal, metaphorical vehicle of transformation. And I was driving a 1971 Plymouth Cuda and my radio broke. Oh my. Yeah. And so I drove for hundreds of miles without a radio and it was just me and the hum of that engine and the sound of the tires on the road.
And it gave me the space to really just like, be with myself.
[00:37:31] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:37:32] Speaker B: Yeah. And so I still do it now, often on the way to wherever I'm going, I will often just not have the radio on or I won't have, you know, some. I'm likely to turn a podcast on or, or Spotify or something like that. And I just will just not plug my phone in and I will just have some silence, Just enjoy some silence in the car. It's always, it's always been a thing for me. And then just to drive down a pretty street or, you know, I live near the mountains, so I'll go through the mountains, but just to drive down by the beach or on a pretty main street or something. Just allow yourself to experience beauty while you're in the day to day too. I think that that just feels, feels very good and it feels very uplifting.
[00:38:13] Speaker A: It does. It's, it's doesn't have to be this big to do, you know, like, let's get out this candle so it smells good and let's take out this prayer meditation mat and breathe carefully. Like those are awesome and those are amazing. But I don't think it has to be as complex as sometimes we make it.
[00:38:33] Speaker B: No, it doesn't need to be rigid. And the less rigid it is, the more often you will do it. And it becomes one in the same with your life.
I always say your life journey is your spiritual journey. It's all in one. They're not separate. And so the less rigid you are with these things the way. And the easier you allow yourself ways to fit it in, it becomes one.
[00:38:57] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:38:57] Speaker B: Then you are living in, you are living in, you know, this meditative state that you find on the mat with the candlelit and the incense burning and all of that. You find that while you're driving your car.
[00:39:09] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:39:09] Speaker B: Or taking your kids to a soccer game or going to the grocery store, you walk into, you walk into the grocery store. Totally different. Like, oh, you know, in just this whole different state.
You walk into a meeting in a completely different state. You're in more of a flow state throughout the day. And not that it's perfect because we're human and nothing's perfect and no day is ever going to be perfect, but it allows you to release control, release some of that anxiety, release some of that stuckness that you know, to just let go of these things that we hang on to. And it just allows you just to like elegantly flow from a meeting to the grocery store to the kids soccer game because it's like you're in this meditative state all day.
[00:39:54] Speaker A: Yeah, well, that, that sounds amazing. I, it also sounds hard, but like we just said it can be. It can be a lot easier than we make it. And so give yourself some grace. And maybe just five minutes in the car is a good start.
[00:40:07] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:40:08] Speaker A: Well, what would you say to our listeners who believe that they are experiencing a middle life crisis and, or a traumatic event and they want to come out a better human. They want to live the life that they believe they are meant for. They want to change in a positive way. What would you tell them?
[00:40:33] Speaker B: Well, I would say first off, if you have the awareness to say I want a better life and I want to come out a different person on the other side, you will. And so stay the course. No matter what comes your way, stay the course. Keep your eye on the prize, find support where needed. And you're stronger than you think you are. You know more than you think you know. And you can trust yourself more than you think you can trust yourself.
So go to number one first. Go to you and God or you in the universe, whatever belief system that you have. Your journey's between you and God, you and you, you and the universe, you and Source. Go there first and then find support and then know that you are enough and you are courageous enough to get yourself through anything that is thrown your way in life. We really can. Like, if you really believe you can make it to the other side, you will.
[00:41:27] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:41:28] Speaker B: And if you need to borrow somebody else's belief for a minute, if some of your listeners are in the space of maybe not believing in themselves wholeheartedly in this moment, find someone who believes in you and borrow their belief in you until you can believe in yourself.
[00:41:42] Speaker A: I just want to put that last 30 seconds on repeat because it just, it made me feel so empowered just listening to you say those things. That was amazing. I felt like I needed to hear that today actually. So thank you. Thank you for that.
[00:41:55] Speaker B: You're welcome.
[00:41:56] Speaker A: Well, there are so many different resources out there for our listeners. I know that you are a resource for those of us in middle age who are looking to learn, improve, get deeper. What kind of things do you offer, Tina?
For those of us who are interested?
[00:42:15] Speaker B: I'm a coach of life. Well, mentor, coach, guide. I don't know that word. Coach. I feel like we're walking hand in hand on a transformational journey when we work together. And I do that work through. I use Human Design and nlp, Neuro Linguistic programming. So I use those two tools and, you know, many more, many other tools as well. But those two are the prevalent tools that I use when I work with my clients.
So human Design for your listeners who don't haven't heard of human design, it's a tool that combines astrology, the I Ching, the Kabbalah, the Hindu chakra system, quantum mechanics and genetics all into one system. And we use your birth date, time and location to get what's called a body graph. And in that body graph is the energetic blueprint of you.
And we can dive into you as a human being and how you relate to others, how you relate to yourself. We can look at your, your energetic blueprint to see how you best navigate life. And then we can use nlp, neuro linguistic programming to kind of like step through some of these blocks and things that you're facing to really make some rapid shifts in your life. It's a really, really beautiful process.
[00:43:23] Speaker A: Yeah, I am familiar with human design. I'm normally quite skeptical with all these, you know, quizzes and you know, enter this and you'll reveal the purpose of your life. I spent some time actually going through the process of human design and it was worth it and it was interesting and I, I really haven't taken a deep dive into all the things, maybe I need to do that with you. But it has been a worthwhile, you know, opportunity for me to take a look at certain pieces. But I'm not familiar with the neuro linguistic programming. Is that correct?
Yeah.
[00:43:57] Speaker B: So that's basically talking to your subconscious. So our subconscious runs 95% of our life and that's where all our habits and behaviors lie. Right. That we behave through our beliefs and, and we have patterns that we fall into and we have habits that we create throughout life. Right. And so as the neuro linguistic programming with human. And I love using human design, pairing human design method too because human design brings to us us into such a focused place through the body graph and conversation and we really can deep dive into the root of something. We can get there fairly quickly and then when we find the root we can talk to the subconscious. Through neuro linguistic programming we can talk to the subconscious and we can shift patterns quickly. We can break pattern and shift behavior quickly.
[00:44:46] Speaker A: Wow.
[00:44:46] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:44:47] Speaker A: So is that like a audio, is that a vocal piece or how does that work?
[00:44:52] Speaker B: Yeah, so it's audio.
So we, you know, like I'll talk, I'll take the person through a process and then it's like a guided meditation kind of is the easiest way to explain it. Sort of like a guided meditation basically. So you're in it bring you know, I'll say things so you bring up images and then we like swap Images, it's all through. I'll be talking guiding and then they'll be doing the work under, you know, in the unconscious. Wow. Yeah, it's very interesting and it's very fast and it works.
[00:45:21] Speaker A: Wow, that sounds really interesting. I'm sure a lot of folks are interested in that. Do you have some favorite links that you can provide our listeners about human design, about these different types of options for them? I think they'd be very interested.
[00:45:34] Speaker B: I have a website, the Sovereign Soul Co. You can go there and then I'm on Instagram, Facebook and LinkedIn. I am Tina. Leanne is my handle for Instagram and Facebook.
I am T I N A L E A N N. And then if you want to dive into neuro linguistic programming specifically I would recommend going to their website because they've got all the information there. I don't have a lot of information about specifically about NLP on my website because they've done such a good job. But just NLP.com you can go there to learn more about that. In particular, I've just got a little bit how I use it on my website.
[00:46:09] Speaker A: Yeah, no, that's really interesting. Well, I'll drop all these links in the show notes so it's really easy for folks to access them as they're listening or after they listen to the show. I'm really actually interested in spending some more time with you Tina and seeing what I can further learn about some of these pieces because I'm open to everything that is going to get me to the place I want to be. And I'm still on that journey. Still on that journey.
[00:46:35] Speaker B: And we are until we die. It is our life journey.
[00:46:38] Speaker A: Well, thank you so so much for sharing your story, for being so encouraging and I know a lot of our listeners will probably reach out to you. Definitely take up the opportunity that you can to get into some of this stuff. It is really, really life changing and there is no better investment than one in yourself. I can promise you that. Worth every bit of time and investment that you can make to to do these kinds of things. So strongly encourage you to do so. And I think you'll be hearing from me too. So good.
[00:47:10] Speaker B: That's amazing. This has been. That's so great.
[00:47:12] Speaker A: Yeah. Well, thank you so so much. Thank you listeners for hanging in there with us. We hope that you learned a ton and that you feel inspired and for those of you in that crisis trauma moment, hang on, it gets better and I think Tina and I are a testament to both of that.
[00:47:32] Speaker B: So yes, yes, okay.
[00:47:34] Speaker A: All right. Well, thanks for joining us.
[00:47:36] Speaker B: Thank you so much. This has been wonderful.
[00:47:39] Speaker A: And that brings us to the end of another episode.
I hope you enjoyed the content and I'd love it if you would share this with a friend or family that you think would enjoy it. This is such a great time, middle age, and I want to spread that message. The best way to do that is to share it.
And if you haven't already followed us or subscribed, make sure to do that so you don't miss any of our new content.
I'm going to leave you like I do every episode.
Remember, it's never too late, you're not too old, and you're definitely not dead.
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