Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] Speaker A: Foreign welcome to 3564, a podcast for the middle. In today's show, I have the privilege of introducing you to just a bundle of energy. His name is Frank Podetry and he was a French TV host, a professional snowboarder, is currently a creative who produces incredible photography and video documentary work. He is here to share some really great tidbits on males perspective on aging, how to best embrace your age, why it is so great to be in middle age and other thoughts on being active, staying healthy and embracing this time of life. Frank, it is so, so fun to have you here. Welcome to the show.
[00:01:05] Speaker B: Well, it's my pleasure. I've heard of the whole podcast. I've been listening quite a few and yeah, I think I'm the target.
[00:01:12] Speaker A: So you have been on TV, YouTube, all sorts of media. Have you ever been on a podcast?
[00:01:19] Speaker B: Actually once and. But you're right, I'm usually the other side.
[00:01:24] Speaker A: Yes, I know you've been a. Gosh, France. You were live TV for sports. Tell me about that.
[00:01:31] Speaker B: Yeah, well, I started my TV career after my sports career. I was a professional snowboarder and one day the French Snowboard Federation asked me if I can work for them. And I didn't know what they mean by that and I said yes. You know what? Actually, yes, let's do a trade. You have a show on tv, it sucks. I want to jump in. I was super rude. I said, let's do it the way I think it will work. And then I start TV out of the blue from a morning to another. And then, yes, that worked for the French Snowboard Federation. And I started my career on national TV for about like, I would say six years with that show. And then in the Olympics 2006, the federation blew out, my show blew out. I was homeless with everything and I fall in love with the work. I fall in love with the camera. I was in front of the camera and I went behind the camera and I start to produce, direct and also skip hosting shows. And I went back on tv. I did the Olympics twice, hosting for France, for national, the French NBC. I would say France television. And yeah, was quite a journey and I loved it.
[00:02:30] Speaker A: Oh my gosh. Okay. You just threw in tons of nuggets of information. I had no idea about you. So first off, you're French. I think everybody who is listening or watching can tell that you're French.
[00:02:42] Speaker B: Okay, that's. I'm leaving.
[00:02:44] Speaker A: Okay, so how you were born in France. Let me just ask that and clarify.
[00:02:48] Speaker B: I was born the south of France in the beautiful region called Provence, la Cote d'azur, that everyone goes. It's one of beside Paris. This is one main destination when you go to France. So I was born in Toulon, which is a funny. It's a kind of a sister, little sister of San Diego, where I live now, because it's, like, full of marines and army and everything, and ships and Top Gun as well. So.
[00:03:10] Speaker A: Yeah, okay. And you started your career by telling somebody that you didn't like what they were doing. You said you were very rude. I want to hear about that.
[00:03:21] Speaker B: I was. I was. I was. At that time, I was. I was the top of my game in snowboarding. I was French champion by then. I had that sort of, like, silliness, and I wouldn't stay full of myself. But I was completely young, and I was like 25 years old or so. And so I said, hey, why don't we do a show that's going to actually talk to the people? And the show was here to promote snowboarding. And I said, I know a bunch of celebrities. I'm going to have them on the show and I'm going to teach them how to snowboard and use the snowboard to be an icebreaker. Because, you know, when you talk to a celebrity, they still have the level of, like, famousness. And then when you put them in front of a snowboard and they don't know how to do it, they become nobody. And then you do whatever you want and you make the interview you want and they're naked. Then you teach them how to snowboard. At the end of the show, they knew how to ride. And this brings a lot of, like, for example, if you were a fan of somebody, you will see this guy in the show not being himself.
[00:04:17] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:04:19] Speaker B: Like, don't know what to do. And relay on me and my team how to snowboard and be quiet and be nice.
[00:04:27] Speaker A: Oh, my gosh. Okay. So, Frank, how old are you?
[00:04:30] Speaker B: That's super rude. Straight. You're going to the jugular. How old am I? We don't say that to a gentleman. Just kidding. I'm 53 years old. I am very beyond happy to be honest with you. I was never good at math, so I'm going to stop counting. I'm going to say now from how now on? 50 plus. Plus. Just kidding.
Well, for real. 1972, you know, Karen, do you know how can you figure it out? Your hold. It's when you go online, fill up a form, and you scroll forever to find your birth date.
[00:05:00] Speaker A: Oh, my.
[00:05:00] Speaker B: Gosh you're like, oh, my gosh. What's going on with that computer? It's too slow. Yeah. 20, 25. Scroll to 1972. You figure it out. Your thumb is getting tired.
[00:05:11] Speaker A: Oh, my gosh. I totally know what you mean. You just scroll, scroll. I remember thinking, who in the world was born in 2000? And here you are going, going. I was born in 79, so I'm not quite as far as you, but I definitely get the scrolling sensation when I'm looking for the year. Oh, my gosh.
[00:05:27] Speaker B: To answer your question, I am French. You state it. I'm just like the wine. I'm just fine and proud. This is part of the brand.
[00:05:34] Speaker A: Well, I. You know, I sort of laugh when you said plus plus, because isn't that how you order a steak? Like, you say plus, like medium rare. Plus. Have you ever heard that this is very American?
[00:05:45] Speaker B: In France, we eat the meat. That's the one. That's the one thing I don't really like. When Americans cook meat. If I go to a barbecue and I don't have any, the option to ask me, how would you like your meat? And the meat comes, like, well done. Americans have a problem to eat. In France, we eat like steak tartar. We eat like blue meat, like, rare. I like it medium rare. I like it, like, a little bit, like, with, you know, blood in it. Otherwise. Otherwise you're a vegetarian and you move on.
[00:06:12] Speaker A: Yeah, that's intense. I'm like a medium person. If it's cold in the center, that's pretty tough for me. But I'll do tartar. I will. I feel like it's two different dishes. Okay, so you are in your 50s. You're 50 plus. Plus. How old do you feel?
[00:06:28] Speaker B: We're not gonna lie in the middle age. It depends on the morning. Right. Some morning, you think you're gonna flip off your bed doing backflip and everything, ready to go, and then two seconds later, your back is gonna remind you that you're 50 plus. Plus you're 53 years old. So. Yeah, it depends. Like, if I'm on a lucky day, I'm going full on sports. But sometimes, you know, you wake up a little bit rusted, and that's okay. We need to leave where they're aged. Just like an old car.
[00:06:54] Speaker A: Yeah. Yeah, I think so. I woke up this morning, Frank, and I was feeling good. I felt rested. I had a good night's sleep, and I got out of bed and I was dizzy because I got up too fast. And, like, that never happened. To me, when I was in my teens or twenties or thirties, for goodness sake, I had to kind of catch my bearings and I thought, oh, I better get up slower. Does that ever happen to you or am I the only one?
[00:07:17] Speaker B: No, that happens. But listen, Karen, we cannot have the wisdom of being in the middle age and knowing all the background and have all the knowledge that we gain through ups and down and older experience and feeling like a 20 years old. That will be so unfair for the youth, the youth of the health, they don't have the knowledge. We do have the knowledge and the wisdom, but we carry a backpack of like trouble, of like feeling great with your back, unless this is the thing that you will learn through the age. So before my TV care, I was, I was supposed to be a sports instructor. So I know sports quite well. And if you don't entertain your body, if you don't go engage with sports and drink water, hydrate and everything. Yeah, it's like a car, a whole car. It's a classy car. It will run forever if you cherish it, if you give it love, if you go to the body shop, if you do the work, if we don't do the work, you cannot expect to jump out of the bed and do a double bike flip. That's not happening. Or you're not a human.
[00:08:13] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah. You know, I'm going to rewind here. You said something so interesting just now. You said, in youth we have our health, but in middle age and older we have our wisdom. So you think it's sort of like a switch off. You kind of hit these peaks at both times and cross.
[00:08:29] Speaker B: Is that what you think sometimes and what you want to do? You're like, have you ever somebody on a podcast or in real life asking you, would you like to be you now but 20 years old? The answer is yes. If you ask a 20 years old, do you want to be 50 years old? He has no idea at 20 years old. A 50 years old is a old man, old woman. He doesn't know the, the wisdom, the boldness, the. Everything is sweet in our age.
So, yeah, would you like to jump back with everything you know, Karen, with all your experience, knowledge, go back to your 20s? The answer is totally 100% yes.
[00:09:04] Speaker A: Well, no, actually I. Oh, really? Yeah. Isn't that crazy? And I'm going to tell you, the men that I speak with all want to go back to their 20s. They all do. Almost hands down, every single male that I've asked this question to, with the very few exception, I Remember a friend, Corey said no. Most women, especially in middle age, feel more beautiful, more confident, more sexy, all the things. And they don't want to go back to their 20s even if it meant well. Okay, some women have said they do. Now that I think about it, they would switch. But you know what? Personally, me, I feel like I'm at my peak of, you know, great wisdom. I'm feeling good, feeling healthy, and it's this perfect cross section for me. But maybe in 10 years I won't have the same answer.
[00:09:53] Speaker B: That's right. Well, I think it's very objective. But yeah, I do believe you're right. It depends on the sex if you're a woman or a man. I do believe men wants to be forever young to do compete and play tennis, play golf, go skiing, you name it, skateboarding. And yeah, you want to feel like you're 20. It's in your. It's in your brain. Karen, I do believe. I mean I'm 53 years old. It's not a joke when someone asks me my age especially. I am in the wedding industry as well and I capture wedding and we marry young people and these young people make you feel like you're at the same level of them just because the way, I mean, not going to try to brag myself, but the way you dress, the way you talk, also the way you're going to get to the. I have 11 years old. If I act like a real 53 years old, this kid is going to think he's living with a grandpa. So you need to be to the level. And they update you. Kids update you in the middle age and you need to speak with them. I mean, he play video games. I was done with video games. Completely done. I will never think in a million years if I didn't have cruise my 11 years old, how on earth I will go on a PlayStation 5 and get stuck with him for two hours, play Fortnite never.
And I did. And I do. And I love it.
[00:11:01] Speaker A: I love that. Good daddy. Good job, Frank. That's awesome. I'm terrible at video games, but I do have a lot of Roblox in my house.
[00:11:10] Speaker B: Well, yeah, I didn't enter to that world yet.
[00:11:12] Speaker A: Yeah, that's a whole thing. That's a whole thing. Okay. So Frank, what do you think is the hardest part about aging?
[00:11:20] Speaker B: Maybe realizing that your body unsubscribe from the newsletter of your brain.
You see what I mean? Like your brain is like, yeah, you can do totally everything you want. Like, yeah, like. Like I just said Do a backflip. I used to do backflip. I can do a backflip. I can still do it. Would I do it? I will call first. My chiropractor said, what is the aftermath? Are you available after the backflip? Because I think I'm coming in.
The hardest part is to understand that your body is not following. Unless you're a super athlete and you keep on doing like I would say, three hours of sports every day. But it's impossible. You and I, entrepreneur, we need to keep on going. And when the work stops, the kids take over. And when the kids are done, I mean, meanwhile, you need to cook. I'm a chef as well. I do. I take care of the meal and everything. So the time for you and it's limited. And then your body gets rested a little bit. So the hardest part of this will be facing the truth. We're aging.
My 21 years old. Love to do backflip right now at the pool. I wish I can run and do it and show him, but I know if I miss, that's terrible.
I do believe the hardest part of aging. Yeah, this is it. That's why.
[00:12:34] Speaker A: What time do you go to bed, Frank? I'm just curious.
[00:12:36] Speaker B: I am a night owl and a hurlybird. That's really bad.
[00:12:40] Speaker A: Oh, my God.
[00:12:41] Speaker B: Rewind. Um, we need to take care of our health. Sleeping is key. I don't know who the heck did say one time, when you're young. Oh, you know, and it's part of your mojo, by the way. I will sleep when I'm dead. Well, that's not true. This has been written by a 20 years old. Sleeping is key. Good sleep is key, even for kids. My Cruzi is 11 years old. If I let him play on a Friday night until midnight, he goes to bed. The next day is cranky and everything. Sleeping is part of the middle age. It's like the key to be in good health and good shape and everything. So to answer your question, I go to bed super duper late because I am French, I work with France. We have a time delay of nine hours when it's midnight, it's 9am in Paris and they start to waking up. I'm going to say hi to Oxen, for example. You have to keep up with the two time frames. And then you wake up because guess what? The next morning you have kids. You need to get them to school. So 6:30, wake up, go to bed. Midnight. It's like cool. If I go to bed at midnight, I'm like, Super duper happy. It's sometimes 2, sometimes 3am that's shocking to me.
[00:13:45] Speaker A: If I don't get eight hours of sleep, I am not a good person. Just let's stop there. I am not a good person. You don't want to interact with me. And it gets worse as the day goes on. I can't believe you can function with that little sleep. Wow.
[00:13:58] Speaker B: I can tell you have a great night sleeping. Look at your beauty.
[00:14:01] Speaker A: Well, that's. That's very kind of you, but listen, I am, I'm a Karen, okay? When I haven't slept the eight hours and we all know what a Karen is.
[00:14:09] Speaker B: Hey, hold on. I'm going to grab the mic here for a second. How do you feel being in the middle age and your name is Karen? That's a double sentence here.
[00:14:16] Speaker A: I know. Okay, so at first it was irritating. It really was. I was like, this is so stupid. Why are people saying this? And the worst part about it was all of the women being portrayed as Karen were almost exactly my same age, in their 30s and 40s. They were all almost blonde. They were all Caucasian. And the thing that I had differentiating me is I didn't have that like crazy short hair like with that weird thing in the back.
But for years there was news articles. You know, Karen reported Joe Blow stealing from her yard. And everyone used Karen. They still do, but it's not as common. I kind of just leaned into it instead of hating on it.
[00:14:59] Speaker B: Slowed down too. Now we're done. It's like now naming someone a Karen, it's dated. The joke is dated. So you're done.
[00:15:06] Speaker A: It is.
[00:15:07] Speaker B: Did you. Sorry, I'm going to grab the mic one more time. When people were asking you at that big time, I think they started during the pandemic when people were getting crazy.
[00:15:14] Speaker A: Yes.
[00:15:15] Speaker B: When somebody was asking you the name. Where are you making that up? Well, I miss tones.
[00:15:20] Speaker A: I did just lean into it, Frank. I thought, heck, I'm not going to change this global, you know, use of my name. So, you know, one of my favorite introductions that breaks the ice is, hi, my name is Karen and I'm not a Karen. And that always almost makes people giggle. At least smile and it gives a nice icebreaker to introduce myself. And I'm kind of over it. But it definitely has, you know, fallen in usage and someone else's name is going to pick right back up and it's going to going to be on them. But I did my time. The Karens did our time.
[00:15:53] Speaker B: Well, I'm going to tell you this for the people who listen to your podcast. I don't think a Karen will take some time and to talk about middle age. I think those Karen doesn't care. They care about their backyard, their own car and their own world. You care about the middle age and you include everyone. I've been listening to your podcast and we can tell you're not a Karen. You are a full Karen yourself in the way you are kindness and everything, sharing all the wisdom of all the guests that you are having on your podcast. So thank you so much for doing this.
[00:16:21] Speaker A: Oh, Frank, that's really sweet. That. That's very, very kind. I'm going to ask you a tough question, so gear up here. Do you think that you have experienced a midlife crisis?
[00:16:34] Speaker B: That is a question for my wife. Let me call her babe. Do you think we went through a middle crisis?
You know what?
It is a very tough question. And to be honest with you, I even when you send me a few questions, that what we're going to talk about and you pointed out and I was clueless. Am I honest? Am I lying? No, I'm not. I had to ask my wife for real, what is it? Because and to me, in my opinion, was like, oh, yeah, buy a sports car. It's for the people wants to keep young. We're not happy. I am just a happy person. So the only thing I did maybe and this could have caused my mileage during the pandemic, I bought a $8,000 e bike. We were bored. The world stopped. This is could be my middle crisis. But guess what? I bought it for $2,000. That's called smart shopping.
[00:17:25] Speaker A: Oh, my gosh. I was going to say 8,000 bucks for an E bike. Is that like real?
[00:17:30] Speaker B: It is real. I have a beast. I have a. This is. This is it. So I do believe I didn't need to go through my mineral crisis because when I say I'm from Provence, shortly after, because of snowboarding, I went to the French Alps and I used to live in 15,000ft every day, pushing the door, being in the outdoor. So I was always refreshed with fresh air, animals, you name it, and mountain biking or skiing or snowboarding. So, yeah, I try to keep up with that level of like, if I don't go outdoor on a weekly basis, I'll go nuts. Yeah, my wife can tell me, he needs to kick you out. I'll take you like my dog. We have a dog. Okay, we need to go and do a nice walk with you because you're done because you spent too much in the garage or whatever. So no, I don't. I wish you could jump in and tell me, but I don't think I went through did I saw some of my people did it 100%. That's just that part of it. What I experience in this middle age, it's. You have friends and they're going through divorce. I never saw that many divorce getting closer to 50. And I'm praying that will never happen to us, but it won't because key is the communication with your wife and everything, whatever you need to communicate and everything. But there's up and down and I don't know if it's the case for you and maybe you going through divorce, it's like oh shit, getting to the age, it's. You're coming on the edge of like am I going to be able to keep on building the foundation of my family or this going to collapse Because I don't know, you're losing your job, you're losing your health, you're losing. I don't know. Or you're not settled with your past. How about that?
[00:19:01] Speaker A: It's an interesting point. I actually started self reflecting as you were saying. I couldn't tell if I had gone through when I had to ask somebody else, my wife and I was starting to think I have friends who would not admit or even maybe be self aware to know that they are in or experiencing a midlife crisis. But I can tell as their friend, as someone who has known them for many years, how the behavior changed, how they approached things in a really unusual, probably destructive, if I may even say way. They always find their way back and they normally end up coming out a rebirthed version of who. Who they were better, more wise, confident, stronger. But there is this sort of beautiful mess, hot mess. If you want to say that. I think a lot of people go through and I actually, I will raise my hand and say that I think going through a very challenging divorce and in particular after the divorce, finding myself. Who am I? Who am I when my kids aren't with me and what kind of future do I want? I experienced and experimented with many different versions of that. And some of them, frankly, I want to say I'm a little bit embarrassed about because it's not who I am and it's not who I want to be. But I did go through that and now I can confidently say I am the best version of myself with the knowledge, the wisdom and the people I have around me. But I had to go through a serious Crises in order to figure that out. So I don't know. I. I think that I have experienced a middle age crisis. I think many of my friends have and I think some of them are yet to come.
[00:20:45] Speaker B: Yeah, I mean, you just pointed out something. I think this is everyone on the scale from 0 to 100 of your guests, middle age, what we experience, it's our friends getting trapped into. Either it was a bad marage and they're just more wise and they happen to understand that they need to get out or just they're no more the same and they're two different person and then comes to a divorce. I have so many friends right now, while I speak, are splitting or on the way to divorce. And this crushed my heart. I know them as a couple forever. I've been there to their wedding and everything. Some of them are even I am the best man. So it's. It's a weird feeling, but I understand and I'm happy to see and I'm already. I can even say it. I'm right in the middle of one of them. They're just more happy. They are happy to split and take their own route. And it's going to be weird for me because I knew them all the way together. It will be now with one another and that's it. So I think the wisdom that we get and a divorce is what I would love to learn. It's a divorce cannot be. My wife was divorced previous. She had a previous marriage with a beautiful son. He's 21 years old. He's about to be graduated from Cal Poly. The dad of Luca, I wouldn't say he's my best friend, but he comes to my house and I am impressed how my wife managed this through our divorce. They were young. He's 21, so she's 48. A divorce, it would be great if we cannot associate it to a chaos. A divorce to me should be a new marriage, to become friends. And if you have kids to raise them. And I'm not looking for this, I want to stay with my beautiful wife. But if you will come to this, I mean this. Everyone should learn a lesson from this because kids are the one who's suffering from it. So that's the one thing I will experience. It's not through me, thankfully, but through my friends who are getting through divorce and see the kids not feeling well and everything.
[00:22:36] Speaker A: Frank, what do you think is the hardest part about aging for men? Or let me rephrase that. What is the most unique part about aging for men as a Man.
[00:22:47] Speaker B: And being a father of a young one, 11 years old, it's to understand that he wants to keep pushing. He wants you to go skateboard. I'm a skateboarder. He wants me to keep doing stuff. He's asking me, can you do a backside there? If we go snowboarding, can you drop in the half pipe? And the answer is like, I would love to show you, but you were not born when I was a champion, and I'm no more that guy. I'm so sorry. And to be okay with it, I don't feel like I'm a whole grandpa, but I'm not the same. I used to drop in a half pipe and do crazy air and stuff like that. It's to be okay to live at your age and do activities with your son that cannot put you in danger. Does that make sense?
[00:23:24] Speaker A: Yeah. So I. Let me see if I can recapture what you said. You think that the limitations with strength and fitness and a masculine presence change as you age, and that is challenging.
[00:23:39] Speaker B: Yeah. I started my life being an action sportsman. I was just not playing, kicking a ball or playing tennis or golf. I was always doing crazy stuff. Skateboarding, skiing, snowboarding, all of that. With the age, it's time to say goodbye. But I'm living in California. I'm living in San Diego. My neighbors are Tony Hawk, Steve Caballero, Mike McGill. These people are 60 years old and they're still charging. I'm not comparing myself to them. They're legend. But it's so good to see them.
I should bring them on the podcast. Those are golden. Like, they have no problem. They do break themselves. But, yeah, to answer your question, the hardest part, how do we learn? It's to understand and be okay with it. It's okay. You cannot go down as fast as you were with your mountain bike, otherwise you're going to crash. And if you crash, your business is going down the road, and then your wife needs to take over, and then your son is going to feel terrible. So it's being more wise of the way you do stuff. And also, to circle back to your first question, sleeping is the key. And I'm the worst at it. I mean, if you don't sleep, you can't function. You know this, Karen.
[00:24:44] Speaker A: I do. I. I do.
[00:24:46] Speaker B: And knowing that I'm living with friends time, I think I've been living jet lag since 2015 when I'm like, I'm. I'm on a. I don't know, I'm. I'm. I live probably in Tokyo right Now.
[00:24:57] Speaker A: In my mind, oh my gosh, that's. That's good. So if you were to look back at your life, your entire life from your 50 plus plus status, what do you think your favorite age has been?
[00:25:08] Speaker B: Now? Definitely now, of course, when I used to tour the world with my snowboard and stuff like that. But that was not the real me. There was a guy on steroid that was a guy that was unique. And sometimes I watch her pictures. I'm like, how come this happened? This is not even me. It's like, I don't know, I was pushed by wings in my back. My parents helped me. It was fantastic. But this is not common. This is not be a normal person. So my best edge is now for a couple good reason, settle with my wife and having two kids, a puppy and a love that I work so much. I'm a director of film every day creates stories through my eyes, through my lens for the people, making the people happy. So yeah, I mean, if you're aware about who you are and you cannot do backflip, it's fine. And you're just happy. I mean, that's it. Also, when you're 20 years old, you don't know the life is going to jump at you and you don't know how to respond either. With death, for example, you're losing a close one whatever whatever. At 53, you understand something better. So my best age is obviously now. And you know why? Being in my early 50, I am competing with a 59 years old. I'm the young one in the decade of 50. In the decade of 40, I was the old one. If you play tennis with a 40 years old, all right, and you're 53, you're gonna feel it. You're not in the same category.
So when you're 40, you're young. In the new decade of the club, 4 0.
[00:26:38] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:26:39] Speaker B: And when you pass 51, you're young. In the decades in the club of 51 closer you get to 59, then you can't wait to jump to 60. Because like I want to be young again.
[00:26:49] Speaker A: That's such an interesting perspective.
[00:26:52] Speaker B: Well, that's just men.
[00:26:54] Speaker A: So, Frank, do you believe in regret?
[00:26:57] Speaker B: Do I have regrets? Probably, yes.
Talking about wisdom, I don't know about you, Karen, but some stuff that 10 or 15 years ago would have bothered you. You will make like a tumble and like making a big deal and snowball about like a tiny detail. Now you're taking it like, all right, fine, and you move on and you're happy.
[00:27:18] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:27:19] Speaker B: Before that you will stumble yourself and make it yourself life miserable because you don't have the tool to understand nothing is a big deal. We you. Sorry, Karen. We this podcast, we all enter in the best time of the life, but it's also the hourglass. You know, we see every single grain now going down so we don't have time to waste and it's time to live twice.
[00:27:43] Speaker A: Yeah, I think embracing the moment, living each day as it's your last. Those all sound so cheesy, but they are so true. Frank, what would you say to one of our listeners who has regrets and wants to move forward living their best self?
[00:28:01] Speaker B: If you do have regrets, you won't move forward. You need to either understand your regrets and your mistakes and fix it with whoever you have regrets with, or you will be stuck. And you will. If I do have regrets, then I will make my first partner, my wife be miserable with it. And that's not fair. So regrets. It's. If you say regrets associated with the word sorry of whatever you could have done as a mistake, that is the best way to move on. If you have regrets and don't know how to fix it, then best of luck.
[00:28:30] Speaker A: Yeah, I heard a really interesting phrase earlier this week. It said, don't be the person who believes more in their past. Believe in your future. And I thought that encapsulated the whole seize the moment, live your best life now, don't repeat the past, don't live in your mistakes, but look forward to all the possibility to come, no matter your age. I really embraced that when I heard it and took it to heart.
[00:28:57] Speaker B: But to circle back to your question, I do believe what do we learn, Karen? We enter in the middle age and especially above 50 years old. It's your behavior, who you are has been shaped by the past. If you went through, let's say, a divorce or injuries or fights or whatever and you didn't fix any of this, your future will be shit.
You need to take care of this. It's like if you don't put a big band aid on it. How can you be happy in the future? Because this is going to resurface again and again and again and again. And the best example is my wife. She did work her divorce quite well and she's in peace. I never heard one bad word about her husband, her ex husband. Okay, I don't want to hear too much about it, but I never heard of anything bad. And Luca, our 21 years old, is at peace with it. It's not fun being I'm a kid from divorce. My mom always trash talked my dad when I was young. So I didn't have a good image with him. I don't have a relationship with him anymore. So this was a mistake. That's probably the regrets of my mom. She's 72 years old, 3 years old right now. She has no idea what I'm talking about. But I'm not going to dig into this. She's closer to the exit. I'm going to leave and let us be happy with the way we can be. But I wish she would have done the work and using those tools for us to be all happy.
[00:30:12] Speaker A: Yeah, it's interesting, you're really referencing generational regret and you are taking the lessons from your family and not repeating them.
[00:30:20] Speaker B: Like I said, the hardest part in life, and I do believe you will agree on this, it's not being successful and have a ton of money at the bank. You can die rich and so what? The hardest part in life, it's to build a family, stick with it, the foundation, and then transfer this to your kids to do the same thing and, and repeat and repeat and repeat. And if you are not capable to do this, it's fine. It's never too late to do it. And yeah, as a child from a very bad divorce, I mean, let's put it that way, I'm going to be very intimate right now. I do believe my mom was pregnant and she knew she's going to leave the guy. So I felt all the emotion of her and I was never settled. I never had a dad. So I wanted to be the dad that I never had. Does that make sense? So the regrets is not really for me. It's for her and him and that's it.
[00:31:08] Speaker A: Don't make me cry, Frank. Oh no, I'm watering. My eyes are watering up over here.
[00:31:13] Speaker B: Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no. You know what? I'm going to tell you something and I want this because maybe some of the people listening to this, this needs to be your strength. This is what makes me stronger because I'm not unique. It's how many kids been through this? My wife lost her dad because of cancer. It's not the same thing. She had the love from her dad. But what are you missing? You go get it. And because you should have, my wife on the podcast, she's the healer of the middle age. Seriously, she helped me so much to go through this. I was angry before. Here's my regrets. I was angry at that situation. I was upset that I didn't get any calls or whatever. And then when you feel sorry for them, then you move on and you focus on your own family, period. Yeah, you get stronger.
[00:31:58] Speaker A: I think you do. And you are basically saying, don't live in your victimhood. Use that to propel you to be a better person and to not repeat the same mistakes. I wish it was so easy. As easy to say it as it is to do. Very challenging. But if you are able to do it, it can become a strength behind you instead of a weight pushing you down. Well, Frank, as you look forward to your 60s, what are you expecting in the coming years?
[00:32:28] Speaker B: A new puppy?
Kids are done, the shop is closed. No, I don't know.
What can I say? Yeah, let's look forward. So 60s kids should be out of the house and start their own life with the good path that my wife and I tried to pay for them. And yeah, looking forward to become grandparents. But before that, being young again. I'll be with my wife. The kids will be out either in college or even starting their own life. And maybe save and buy Harvey and tour the US Real life. During COVID we went on a RV tour. I did six dates. I saw the US Empty because it was Covid and this kicking into my life. I thought it was a real life because, look, you and I are entrepreneur. We work for companies and stuff like that with goals and you need to reach. Blah, blah, blah. The problem of paying bills, getting the money in. We live in California. Life is absolutely. I love California. But this. I do believe that my wife is going to walk and say, what are you talking about? It's not overrated. But for the cost of life, we're struggling. I mean, I never ever heard people running two job at once. And life should be taking advantage of living. So 60 years old, I'm looking for this. Not retiring quite much because I'm an artist and I love to create, but being on an RV and go on tour and see the beauty of the United States.
[00:33:52] Speaker A: That's lovely. I think I'd like to join you if your wife is okay with that.
[00:33:56] Speaker B: Yeah, let's go fishing.
You like riding?
[00:34:01] Speaker A: You know, I love visiting national parks, trying new food, meeting new people and, and kind of. I'll call it adventuring, trying things outdoors. So, yeah, that does sound quite fun to me. The part that might be challenging is, you know, I like a. A good shower and a nice soft bed. But I suppose I could, I could do without for a good year.
[00:34:22] Speaker B: If you were good and for the next 10 years, then you. There's RV it's house. It's literally a house. You will have your good shower and everything. But yeah, we don't you think, Karen, this is a real question, that we're trapped into a world that is formatted for us to go get the box, put it in the bank, pay your rent or pay your mortgage, do things, and where's the time for yourself? It's gone.
And meanwhile, it's ridiculous, that question of retirement. Retirement. Then you're done and you can't do nothing anymore.
Is that right?
[00:34:57] Speaker A: I think many people work to death instead of work to live. I think there's a fine line between having the finances that you need to live a fulfilling life based on what you would like and having too, you know, too much too less. But I certainly see more people in life regret working more than they did, playing more. Very few people say, I wish I worked more. I wish I made it to that meeting. I wish I took on that project. No, most people say, I wish I made it to the ballet dance. I wish I made it to Yosemite. I wish I made it to Paris. The regrets on the deathbed are not I wish I worked more. It's I wish I lived more. So, yeah, I do agree with that, Frank.
[00:35:41] Speaker B: That's it. We work hard, we play hard. But you know what? You and I, we have a work that we love so much, so it doesn't bother me. I love what I do. And I will be doing it until I cannot do it physically. I mean, filming, editing, either a music video or a film or documentary. I'm working on an amazing documentary right now. And even corporation stuff. That's my mojo. It's making people happy with your knowledge. I wish there will be no money. And just like trade, I trade my service for your services. This was back in the middle age, the real middle age.
I wish we can go back to this.
[00:36:18] Speaker A: Yeah, I think that's an interesting idea. And who knows what the future holds. Maybe with all this AI and technology, the trades with your hands and working with things in the physical, there might be more exchanges. I don't know what the future looks like. It will be interesting.
[00:36:34] Speaker B: That's right. Well, the robots will never have been closed that close to 1984. Do you remember that movie with Schwarzenegger?
[00:36:41] Speaker A: You mean Terminator?
[00:36:43] Speaker B: Yeah.
It's about to knock out to your door and walk in. I mean, every day we use ChatGPT. I was having that conversation with my wife. I said, this is great. This is the best tool that we have. We don't know what we're doing. We're feeding robots to feel our own emotion. We're teaching them how to become human. They're going to know you more than you know yourself. And every day you go on chatgpt, you're feeding them. Yesterday, I was shocked to ask a question to Chatgpt. Out of the blue, he came out with the word of Juliana, which is my wife. I said, what do you bring Juliana? He said, isn't it your wife? I'm like, oh my gosh, what the hell? So, yeah, hi robots. We're nice people. You don't take over my job. I love you.
[00:37:23] Speaker A: Well, I'm just leans so positive and I think that it will bring a lot of good mixed with unusual. But I look forward to the best of what technology can bring to the table and have hope that it will transform for the better more than the worse. Thank you for coming for sharing. You are, oh my gosh, so funny and really so deep as well. I appreciate you coming on and sharing all of your 50 plus plus experiences and advice.
[00:37:51] Speaker B: Hey, I'm going to tell you something. How about this? I think your audience will love that. Whenever you're ready. I do believe you need to be on the other side of the chair with Switch as a host. I'll be happy to throw those questions to you about this.
[00:38:04] Speaker A: Okay, I'll take you up on that. I'm in. I'm in.
[00:38:07] Speaker B: Thank you, Karen, so much for having me and looking forward to your more awesome podcasts. When I'm walking the pubs or riding my bags. Keep it doing it. We love it.
[00:38:15] Speaker A: Thanks, Frank. Appreciate it.
And that brings us to the end of another episode. I hope you enjoyed the content and I'd love it if you would share this with a friend or family that you think would enjoy it. This is such a great time. Middle age, and I want to spread that message. The best way to do that is to share it. And if you haven't already followed us or subscribed, make sure to do that so you don't miss any of our new content.
I'm going to leave you like I do every episode. Remember, it's never too late, you're not too old, and you're definitely not dead.
Today's episode is brought to you by Dana Krith Lighting, where artisanal craftsmanship meets innovative design. Are you searching for lighting that stands out from the rest? You've got to check out Dana Kreith Lighting. Handcrafted in Southern California, each piece exudes attention to detail and commitment. To quality, say goodbye to replacements and hello to long lasting beauty. Visit danacreeth.com that's D A N A C R E A T H.com to view their stunning collections or stop by their showroom at 1822 Newport Boulevard in Costa Mesa, California. Dana Creith Lighting where elegance meets innovation.
