[00:00:01] Is your car still under warranty? No, not anymore. My mechanic just suggested an extended service plan from OX Car Care. OX Car Care? Yeah. OX will cover repair bills if anything happens to the car. New brakes, transmission, AC or engine problems. Plus, OX Car Care offers free oil changes, tire rotation and roadside assistance. Wait, you pay nothing on repairs? OX gets it fixed, Free oil changes, free tire rotation and free roadside assistance? Yeah. You don't pay, Ox pays. Ox even has a 30 day money back guarantee and is A rated on the BBB. They handle their claims from start to finish, unlike those other warranty companies. The last thing I need is an unexpected car repair bill. I'm calling OX Car Care now. Call OX Car Care for your free quote. 800238 1063. Ask about senior and military discounts. Don't get stuck with a major car repair bill. Call OX Car Care, 8002-3810-6380-0238-1063 or go to oxcarcare.com welcome to 35 64, a podcast for the Middle. Today's episode is really, really fun. I had the unique opportunity to interview over 50 middle agers and ask them all sorts of questions about how they're feeling about the aging process.
[00:01:32] There's funny, serious, unusual and expected answers here, and I put them all together so you could get a sense of what others feel about middle age and where you land on that spectrum. So the first question that I asked was how old are you and how old do you feel?
[00:01:55] Okay, So I am 45 years old and I think I feel actually like 32ish.
[00:02:07] It's a good age to feel. You feel healthy, vibrant, you have enough energy to do what you want to do. I definitely don't feel like I'm 45. I am 46 years old.
[00:02:19] How old do I feel?
[00:02:22] I feel 36.
[00:02:26] I am 44. I feel like I resonate more with 29, 30 at the most. I am 45 years old and I'm actually enjoying being 45 years old. I probably feel maybe mid 30s.
[00:02:42] I am.
[00:02:44] How old am I? I am 44 and I would say that I feel, I mean I feel 44, but I also think that if I was gonna put a number on how I function, I think I function closer to 36ish. I am 38. Newly 38 and I feel 28. How old am I? I'm 40 years old. And how old do I feel? Well, I can tell you without a fact this 36. And that's because I have the scientific Proof via test. It's great.
[00:03:23] I am 34 years old, and I feel young. I would say I feel 34, but I'm also an old soul.
[00:03:32] Okay. Yeah, I am 36. Just turned 36, and I still feel like I just turned 30. It is weird that time keeps marching forward. But, yeah, I'd say I still feel like I just turned 30. I just turned 40, and I feel 40. Like, in a good way. It's a. It's a great age, and I'm loving it. How old am I and how old do I feel? So I've. In terms of rotations around the earth, I've made 55, but I actually feel like I'm a millennial trapped in the body of a Gen X.
[00:04:05] So I am 60 years old, and I feel about 32 and a half years old. Honestly, I'm getting to one of those ages where I'm like, 42 or 43. Pretty sure I'm 42, and I feel. If I'm being honest, I feel a little bit older. I've been married or I've been with my husband for 24 years. I have hearing loss. I'm, you know, dealing with perimenopause and all the things that come with the changes in life. And so I think I feel a little bit older, but excited to be older, looking forward to everything that comes with it. How old am I? I'm 42. I feel today I feel about 60. 65. My back hurts.
[00:04:52] I just turned 43, and I feel probably 32.
[00:04:58] Well, I'm 41 today, and I feel 35.
[00:05:04] How old am I? I just turned 49. How do you feel? 40. I'm 59, and I'm definitely in the 50s.
[00:05:14] How old am I?
[00:05:17] What year is it?
[00:05:19] 20. 24. Okay, I'm 54.
[00:05:23] And how old do I feel? Some days I feel old. Some days I feel really young until I look in the mirror.
[00:05:31] How old am I? I am 38. Oh, I feel about 45.
[00:05:38] I am 38. I feel like I'm 25. I'm 32, and I feel 42.
[00:05:46] 58, and I feel I'm 25.
[00:05:54] I am 44, and I feel probably like I'm 21. I feel fantastic.
[00:06:03] I feel better now than I did when I was 21. So it's, like, weird to say, but I, like, I feel. I don't. I don't feel like I should be 44. So, yeah, I am 62, and I mentally feel like I'm in my 20s physically. Sometimes I wake up and I'm like, yeah, you're 62, bro.
[00:06:27] No doubt about it. Those knees that you gotta like. I find myself sometime having to warm up and stretch to get out of the bed. So at 62, I am 41 and I feel 40 or 41. I feel, I always felt like the age, I always like the age I am. You know, I never felt myself younger or older. I am 38. I feel like I'm 25. All right. I thought that was quite interesting. A lot of us feel younger than we are. I actually expected that. I didn't expect many of the folks saying that they felt older, but I really do feel quite younger than I am and I know a lot of my friends do too. So that's an interesting takeaway. The next question that I asked was, what would you say to your 21 year old self?
[00:07:21] What would I say to my 20 year old self? This too shall pass during the hard parts and even the good parts. It'll pass and you'll grow from it. Whether it's good, bad or ugly, things move on and you grow and you learn and you thrive.
[00:07:41] If I could talk to my 20 year old self, I would just let them know that it was a really fun ride ahead. I'd probably tell myself to be more authentic. I reinvented myself in college because I wasn't able to be authentic in high school and I would have told myself to just jump all the way into it. Starting college, I think I would tell my 20 year old self just to relax, prioritize yourself, love yourself and kind of enjoy. Enjoy the ride, surround yourself with people that you love and can trust and have a good time. What would I tell my 20 year old self? Travel, take risks, invest in really great friends and hey, you're like a really nice and great person but it's okay to be like a little New Jersey nice sometimes.
[00:08:29] Don't rack up charges on those credit cards. It takes a long time to get out of it. If I were to give advice to my 20 year old self, I would say relax, be yourself and don't be afraid to take things seriously and put some hard effort into things. I would tell my 20 year old self to slow down, to enjoy every moment and to live with gratitude every day. To go down to the beach and watch the sunset and breathe more and laugh more and just be hopeful for the future.
[00:09:07] If I were to give myself advice when I was 20, I would say chill out, it's going to be a really good life. Enjoy this moment because you're going to look back and realize how awesome you were and how awesome you're becoming.
[00:09:22] I would tell my 20 year old self like just to keep going, louder, bigger, braver. There's so many amazing things that are about to happen, so really enjoy it and work hard along the way, but you're going to enjoy it. It's going to be great. I would say just be still, be authentic, be brave and just enjoy every single moment because time flies so quickly. Ooh, what would I tell my 20 year old self? I would tell my 20 year old self to appreciate my boobs more and to drink less and to continue to be bold. What would I tell my 20 year old self? Work harder, don't have as much fun, work toward a goal. I would tell my 20 year old self to have as much fun as possible.
[00:10:17] 20 year old self, live it up, have fun, party, enjoy it. Once you have kids, it's over.
[00:10:29] I would probably tell him that it's all worth it, that all the craziness, the hard stuff, the easy stuff, it's all worth it when you get there. I would tell my 20 year old self that it's going to be okay.
[00:10:40] It's not that serious.
[00:10:42] Oh man, probably that you're, you're doing, you're doing good. You're gonna, you're gonna be just fine.
[00:10:51] You are, you, you, you've got a good head on your shoulders. Just keep trusting that maybe get out of your way a little bit more.
[00:11:03] But it's going to work out, you're going to be fine.
[00:11:07] And yeah, we'll see, I'll see you in a few years type of thing. Yeah, I loved my 20s. I lived it up. I did not miss out on anything. And I knew I was not going to get married in my 20s.
[00:11:23] I was like, no, I'm not going to regret anything. And I don't. And I just, yeah, that's it.
[00:11:30] I did it right and I don't, I don't have any regrets. So what advice would I give my 20 year old self?
[00:11:39] Well, that girl had a lot to learn, so I would tell her to buckle up first and foremost and to try to drop the ego early.
[00:11:54] Your ego is going to lead you to places you don't necessarily need to be.
[00:12:01] But when you arrive there, you will learn the lessons that you needed to learn.
[00:12:07] I would tell her that your timeline means nothing.
[00:12:13] That life and God has a bigger plan for you than you could have ever imagined in your wildest dreams and to try to stay present.
[00:12:25] And I would also applaud her for giving us the experiences that she gave us to be well equipped to move on to the next chapter and the next chapter and the next chapter and to live it the fuck up.
[00:12:47] The advice I would give my 20 year old self would be to just do it. Just don't think about what other people say behind your back.
[00:13:02] Don't worry about that. Just do what you want to do and live your life and be brave and go for what you want and don't be afraid. What would I tell my 20 year old self? Just to take life easy and be happy, I think would be the best advice.
[00:13:23] I loved some of those really thoughtful answers. I agree with so many of them. I think if I could bottle up all of that wisdom, experience and knowledge that I've gained over the last 20 years and then go back to being 20, hey, I think life would be a lot different for me. But it was really interesting to hear that. I think most of us are quite happy at 40, 50 and 60. A lot of folks have no desire to go back to their 20s. I actually expected that one. What do you think? Would you go back to your 20s?
[00:14:05] Would I go back to my 20s?
[00:14:08] No, I wouldn't. My favorite decade so far has been my 40s. I'm thrilled to be where I'm at. The wisdom that I've gained from all my life experience. So I don't know if I'd change my 20s.
[00:14:24] But I wouldn't go back to them and relive them. I would maybe relive this decade. 40s, 40s, 40s. But I have no desire to go back. And I bet you'll feel the same way too. I would go back to being 35 and stay 35.
[00:14:41] But 20?
[00:14:42] No way. I know way too much now that I didn't know then. Would I ever go back to being 20? Hell no. Hell no. If I had the right mindset of what I know now, I might take a little small trip back to being 20. But I definitely would not want to be 20 again. I could be 20 again. I surprised myself. I didn't think where I was gonna be at 20 years old is where I was. For some reason I had a different path. It shocked me. And I wouldn't be where I'm at today. So I could.
[00:15:14] I could. If I would go back to being 20 again, the answer is a hard fucking no.
[00:15:19] It was quite a treacherous year of life.
[00:15:24] But did I learn from it? Absolutely.
[00:15:27] Did I grow from it? 100%.
[00:15:30] But would I go back? Fuck no. Absolutely.
[00:15:36] I would not go back to my 20s. My 20s were great, I would say a little challenging, and I wasn't with the right person in my 20s, but I'm with the right person in my 30s, and I'm surrounded by the right people in middle age, and I love that. But I want to go back to my 20s if I could. I mean, certainly there's different decisions that I'd make, but I'm pretty happy in my current state.
[00:16:03] I would go back to the body I had when I was in my 20s, but I would say I would not go backwards. Just in life, I think you change the experiences that you have. The new perspectives that you gain along the way, I think are really important. And I was surprised how much my perspective and priorities changed when I. When I entered my 30s. The things I thought were going to be so important to me when I was, you know, in high school and early college and onwards completely changed. So it's been. It's been a good ride. But no, I wouldn't. I wouldn't go back. Would I go back to 20 if I could? No.
[00:16:41] It was awesome. Had a great time in my 20s and I learned so much. And once is enough.
[00:16:51] Would I go back to my twenties if I could?
[00:16:55] Nah, I'm good.
[00:16:58] If I could get a weekend pass. Yes. It would be very fun to go back and step into that for a weekend and then come back.
[00:17:06] Would I go back to my twenties if I could? Definitely. I enjoyed it. It was a lot of fun. I would go back to my 20s if I could, for sure. Yeah. And then I'd work out a lot and I'd make sure that I had a lot of fun. Go back to my 20s.
[00:17:23] No, actually, no. I'm enjoying life right now. It's good. I would not go back to my 20s. Yeah, it is. Life is way too awesome right now, so. Plus, I'd have to say bye to my daughter, have to start all over again. That might be worth it, but I think where we're going is probably the best part. Yeah, they were a great time.
[00:17:45] They were so fun. And to my point, like, that bitch lived it up and she really did. And I'm like, I just got married this week and I miss her.
[00:17:58] I mean, I love being married and moving into this new chapter, but at the same time, and in the same breath, I'm so grateful that I have those past versions of Jade, because she did it. She did everything that I could have ever wanted to do. And I feel so ready for what I'm walking into at 32? Yes, I would. I would do it again. And I've learned a lot over the years.
[00:18:30] Age makes you wise.
[00:18:33] And I would, I would do it again and I rule the world.
[00:18:40] Would I go back to 20 if I could?
[00:18:44] No. I enjoyed my 20s. They were a good past.
[00:18:47] Good, bad memories. But I'm extremely happy where I'm at right now. Hmm. Would I go back to 20 again? That's a great question.
[00:18:57] Do I get to Travel with the 62 year old knowledge or do I have to have the 20 year old knowledge? If I have to go back with the 20 year old knowledge, no way. If I can go back with the knowledge that I have now, ooh, the damage I could do. Okay, the next question that I asked was, what is the most surprising thing about middle age?
[00:19:21] Let's hear what our friends have to say. If someone were to ask me what is the most surprising thing about middle age?
[00:19:29] I would probably say how little I care of what other people think.
[00:19:36] I will wear what I want to and I'll eat what I want to and I'll listen to really stupid music because I want to. I don't really care as much about what other people think. And that is so, so liberating.
[00:19:53] It's something I think the older you get, the less you care. So I'm looking forward to the 50s and 60s and beyond. You know, it's why your grandmother always says the crazy thing, because she just doesn't care. I would probably say the most surprising thing about middle age is going to bed so early. If you know me, I like staying up later than I probably should. But now I like going to bed at 8:39 o'clock. That's definitely surprising to me.
[00:20:26] I am the same, but not the same. The biggest change with being middle aged I feel like is just the way my body reacts to things. Before I feel like it would just go straight through and it wouldn't bother me and now I'm hungover if I don't sleep eight hours. So that would be the biggest change for me. The most surprising thing about middle age is that I think that I finally have found my happiness of who I am with the people around me.
[00:20:54] What have I accomplished, people who support me. I'm very blessed and very fortunate where I'm at today. When I was younger, when I was 20, I imagined by my mid-30s I would feel confident and in charge of where I was going and who I was going to be and the path that I was on. But being in my mid-40s I actually do feel that way. And I feel confident in taking risk and not shying away from the hard things, but being grounded in the fact that there's nothing that can happen that hasn't probably happened. And if it does happen, guess what? I'll push fucking through it. Because that is who I am in my middle. Capable, grounded, not in crisis.
[00:21:41] The most surprising thing about middle age is how much I love it. I'm thriving, I'm growing, I'm learning, and I'm loving all of it. I think the most surprising thing about middle age for me is just the capability to look back. And it took me almost 40 years to realize that you need to enjoy the droll everyday things and that not everything can be easy. And so that's really what embracing is important. What would surprise me the most about being middle age? I think the stability.
[00:22:14] I don't think anyone really, because I'm at the very beginning of middle age. I don't think anyone realizes in their early 20s, late 20s, just how comfortable you get to be in your middle age with the stability that you have, like financially, professionally, and in your relationships too. What is the most surprising thing about middle age?
[00:22:36] Things creak a little bit more.
[00:22:39] No, it's fun.
[00:22:42] It felt like middle age was so old when I was younger, and it's fun and I have great friends and it's very fulfilling. What is the most surprising thing about middle age is that I don't feel old. When I was a teen and looking at people my age, I thought they were ancient, and I don't feel ancient right now. The most surprising thing about middle age is just how satisfying and how happy it is.
[00:23:11] Yeah, you saw people my age before and you thought they're old. But like I said, I don't feel old and then have the insecurities of worrying about what people think and how you appear just melt away and how comfortable you can be in your own skin. And that's the best thing about middle age. The most surprising thing about middle age is how much you actually get to enjoy the moments between the moments. I think when you're younger, you think, when I hit this age, when I'm able to accomplish this, and then I'll be able to celebrate those moments. But really the big wins are all those moments in between that lead up to the moments and the times you get to spend with friends that are just silence and space. Those are actually the most important parts of your life, I think. I think the most surprising thing about middle age is that this is called Middle age. I really think we need to move this whole age bracket up. I feel like it's being redefined every day as well, because 40 year olds today are not who 40 year olds were even 20 years ago. So I think it's a misnomer. What is the most surprising thing about middle age? Hmm.
[00:24:25] You start to say, yeah, my parents might have been right about that, but then you think, but there's better drugs these days. I'll be okay. The most surprising thing about middle age is I've learned that my parents know more than I ever thought they did.
[00:24:44] The most surprising thing about middle age is honestly, I remember my grandparents telling me that it speeds up as you go. The most surprising thing is that the weeks, the days, the months, the years, they go really fast as you get older, for sure. Most surprising thing about middle age, it's really expensive to get rid of your wrinkles.
[00:25:12] The most surprising thing about middle age for me is the fact that everybody else who's coming through that or is coming to that thinks that it's all new and it's never been done before. And that's simply not the truth.
[00:25:25] And that brings us to the end of another episode. I hope you enjoyed the conversation as much as I did. Okay, so if you haven't already, make sure to hit that subscribe button so you never miss another episode if you're loving what you hear. I would be incredibly grateful if you took just a moment to rate and review this show on your favorite podcast platform. It helps others discover us and it's a great place to share your thoughts, suggestions and ideas for future episodes. For even more exclusive content and detailed show notes, check out our
[email protected] and that's spelled out3564.com as always, a huge, huge thank you for spending time with me today during this episode. I appreciate that you tuned in. I'm going to leave you the same way I do every episode. Remember, it's not too late, you're not too old, and you're definitely not dead. Okay, until next time, friends.
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